


Doki Doki WHAT Kind of Club?!

by LexiTheDoubleedge



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Anal Play, As in the Protagonist is a girl in this story, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Bondage, Canon-Typical Mind Manipulation, F/F, Female Protagonist, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Not all in the first chapter, POV Female Character, Porn With Plot, Sex Toys, not necessarily in that order
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2020-12-24 23:30:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 20,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21107771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LexiTheDoubleedge/pseuds/LexiTheDoubleedge
Summary: A lot of my friends seemed to like Doki Doki Literature Club, so I figured I'd give it a shot.Wait, why are you taking your clothes off? This wasn't supposed to be some kind of porn game!...Uh, not that I'm complaining or anything...





	1. This is NOT Literature

_I don't play very many visual novels these days._

_It's not that I don't like the medium, and with more and more available in English it really seems like it should be a good time for it. But it's hard finding ones that have an interesting story and don't build their story branching around insane troll logic, so I spend a lot more of my reading time on non-interactive media._

_But a lot of my friends seem to really like Doki Doki Literature Club, and since it's free I decided to give it a shot._

_I didn't see it as a good sign when the game asked for my name. In my experience protagonists without defined names tend to lack defined personalities as well, and I don't enjoy that. But I'd give the game some time to change my mind._

_As usual, I entered "Chris". It's not that it's my real name, or my favorite one, but it's one I used a lot for games like this, since it worked whether my character was male or female. Or if they were theoretically male but I was pretending they were female, which was something I did on a regular basis._

_And immediately we meet the childhood friend. She's... okay, I guess. Doesn't stand out too much so far, but at least she's not a tsundere._

_Then things took a turn for the strange._

Sayori is vice president of the Self-Study Club - not that she seemed to do that much studying that I could see. I was absolutely certain she'd only joined because she thought it would be fun to start a new club.

I wasn't surprised that they hadn't gotten many members - after all, what kind of theme for a club is "self-study"? Is that even a thing to have a club for? Who would want to join that? I certainly didn't.

_I double-checked the name of the game window. Still said "Literature Club". What's going on here?_

"Yeah, I'm just going to go check out the anime club," I said.

"C'mon, please?" Sayori replied in her best cajoling tone.

It wasn't very good.

"Why do you care so much, anyway?" I asked.

Sayori blushed. "I just... really think you would enjoy it, if you gave it a chance..."

I'd never hear the end of this if I turned her down, would I? I sighed. "All right, I'll stop by for a bit. But if I don't think I'll like it, I'm leaving, okay?"

Unsurprisingly, Sayori took my decidedly ambivalent response with far more enthusiasm than it really deserved. "Yes! Let's go~!"

As I followed Sayori across the school and upstairs - a section of the school I rarely visit, being generally used for third-year classes and activities - I found myself distracted by the puzzle. Sayori getting excited wasn't unusual... but about a fancy study group?

My first impression when I looked inside the classroom Sayori led me to was... that no one was studying here. There were no books out, no one had any paper out to write anything, no notes or flash cards...

I might have thought we were just here early and no one had gotten anything out, but the first thing Sayori did when she went in was to set her bag down by the door. And there were several there already, so it made me think that no one was expecting to use their school things at all. What kind of studying were they expecting to do here?

"Everyone! The new member is here~!" Sayori called.

"Hey, I only said I'd check it out," I protested.

"Oh? I wasn't aware that Sayori was bringing anyone new today," replied a girl with long purple hair who was standing by the window. Between her height, her elegant demeanor, and her... development, it was almost hard to believe she was a high school student. "Welcome to the club. It's a pleasure meeting you."

A girl with short pink hair - shorter than mine, even - was sitting at one of the desks. That made it harder to judge her height, but I could almost imagine that all her physical attributes had been drained to enhance the first girl. And she didn't seem anywhere near as pleased about my being here. "Seriously? You brought a boy?" And why was her face so red?

**Actually, I'm a girl.  
...**

_Okay, that surprised me. Usually if games give you the option to play a female character it's before the story kicks in, isn't it?_

_Which isn't to say I didn't appreciate the opportunity..._

"Actually, I'm a girl," I replied.

"Really?" asked the pink-haired girl, getting a nod from Sayori. "But you're still wearing a boy's uniform?"

"Yeah, there's a bit of a story to that." This got an even more emphatic nod from Sayori. Neither of us really liked telling that story after all.

_Wait, it's just going to be a noodle incident? Damn it, I'm going to be pissed if the game just shows the same CGs no matter what you pick here after it got my hopes up like that._

"I guess that's all right," she replied before closing her eyes. Huh? But she looked happier anyway. I guess it's good that she's more comfortable with me being here now, but if anything she seemed to be blushing harder now...

Sayori took it in stride though. "Well, that was Natsuki." She gestured towards the girl who had spoken first. "And this is Yuri. If you need anything to help you with club activities, just ask her. She's got the biggest collection I've ever seen-"

"S-Sayori!" Yuri interjected. "Please don't make offers like that to someone I've just met!"

"Sorry, sorry," Sayori said with a wave of her hand.

In the meantime, the last girl in the room seemed to be getting upset about something.

Monika needed no introduction - she had been one of my classmates last year. Monika was probably the most popular girl in class - smart, beautiful, athletic. There were some days that I wasn't sure whether I envied her or desired her more.

It was pretty unusual to see her frowning like this, but at least she wasn't aiming it at me.

"Sayori, did you actually explain to Chris what this club is about?" she asked.

"Ah-! Sorry, Moni~, I kind of forgot about that part," Sayori said, before turning to me. "You see, Chris, to the rest of the school we're just the boring Self-Study Club, but our secret identity is-!"

Monika coughed. "Sayori, maybe you'd better let me handle the explanation if that's how you're going to do it."

"Aww, you never let me explain it my way," Sayori protested, but she sat down anyway.

It was only because I was standing so close that I could hear Monika saying "And for very good reason" under her breath. Then, at a normal volume, she continued, "Chris, the first thing I want you to know is that you don't have to do anything that you don't want to do, all right?"

What?

"It's true that we're officially known as the Self-Study Club, but that's only because of a mistake from when the paperwork for the club was submitted. This is actually the Self-Consolation Club."

_Wait. Does that really mean what I think it means?_

I glanced over at Natsuki, and realized that the entire time I'd been in the room her hands had been underneath the desk. Her flush had in no way abated, and her breathing could only be described as 'panting'.

I looked back over to Monika and asked, in my most incredulous tone, "Are you seriously telling me that this is a club for -masturbation-?"

"That's exactly what it is," Monika replied.

"See, Chris got it immediately, she would have understood my explanation too," Sayori muttered, but I ignored her.

"And the school allows this?" I still couldn't quite believe what I was hearing.

"The school seems to allow clubs for just about anything as long as they have enough members, fill out the paperwork properly, and clean up after themselves," Monika explained.

_As though that really explained anything._

_I went and checked the Steam page for DDLC again. Okay, it does have the 'sexual content' tag. That didn't mean much. I was pretty sure if someone put Tetris up on steam it'd get the sexual content tag. It wasn't one of the high-ranking tags anyway, so I wouldn't normally believe it. Whatever, the game was definitely supposed to be about a -literature- club, and any 'sexual content' looked to be the kind you'd find in the average all-ages visual novel._

_All in all, something really weird was going on, and there was a part of me that said I should probably just wash my hands of the whole thing. And maybe run some extra antivirus scans._

_But... I was a healthy young woman with a similarly healthy amount of interest in members of the same sex._

_I wanted to see where this was going._

_I did take a couple of precautions before going back to the game though._

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard," I replied flatly.

Monika laughed. "It is pretty silly, isn't it? But it's convenient, so I don't want to complain too much."

I guess I can't really argue with that, but it still seemed wrong in principle.

"So, Chris," she continued, her voice becoming softer and more... there wasn't anything I could really call it other than 'seductive'. "Would you like to show us how you masturbate?"

Just like that?!

But I guess it shouldn't surprise me. This wasn't a romance club, or dating club, or anything like that, so it should be completely expected that there was no buildup or anything. But was this really something I was comfortable with?

**Yes  
No**

_Wait, it's really offering me a choice? Huh. That was actually cool too._

_Of course, saying "no" will probably lead to a "boring end" or a "but thou must!". But really, I'd already made my decision before this._

Sayori did seem really excited about me joining... I guess I could give it a try. I didn't really want to get completely undressed at school though. This would be easier if I could wear the girls' uniform... I thought about it for a moment while I pulled out a chair, then pulled down my trousers and panties before sitting down near the edge. That should work well enough.

_Oh, there's unique CGs for the female main character after all._

But... I just wasn't feeling it. Playing with myself in front of other people was weird enough, and doing it with this much clothing on was just awkward. When I tried to touch my breasts I could barely even feel it through all the layers. What the hell was I even doing here?

Then I looked up, and I found my eyes wandering back and forth between the other four girls.

Sayori had gotten back up while I was focused on my conversation with Monika. By now she'd lifted her skirt up and was grinding her crotch against the corner of a desk. Even though she couldn't have been at it for long, I could already see the wetness soaking through her panties. For a moment I was surprised I hadn't heard any noises from her, until I realized she'd pulled her ribbon loose and was biting it to muffle any noise.

_Eeeew. That's got to taste terrible._

I still couldn't see what Natsuki was doing with her hands, but her eyes were so obviously tracing a path up and down my body that I almost expected to feel points of heat wherever they lingered, and there was a thin line of drool coming from one side of her mouth. I was getting the feeling that a girl wearing a boy's uniform really pushed her buttons.

Yuri's expression was so poised and collected that it seemed out of place in a situation like this. Only the soft, slightly dreamy smile hinted at anything at all out of the ordinary going on. Until, that is, I looked lower, and saw that her panties were hanging off of one ankle, and she was teasing herself with an elaborate-looking vibrator that she'd pulled from somewhere. Was that what Sayori had meant by 'help with club activities'?

And, of course, Monika. Her eyes were half-lidded and with the way she'd perched on another desk there was no hiding that she had one hand inside her panties and was rubbing herself vigorously. But she didn't seem embarassed to be seen like this, and when my gaze came her way she looked me right in the eye without hesitation or wavering.

I wasn't being made into a spectacle for the rest of the group. Not when they were showing me just as much as I was showing them.

Maybe I could be happy in this strange and inappropriate club after all.

Mmm...

Ahh...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously, this will be an entirely ordinary gathering of girls who get together after school and masturbate without anything weird going on.
> 
> Wait, that scenario's pretty weird to begin with.
> 
> Many years ago someone in a forum I was in mentioned a hentai picture they'd seen of some people masturbating in a classroom. On the chalkboard was written "self-study", but then one kanji was crossed out and replaced with the one that made it "self-consolation" - which was stated to be slang for masturbation. I never saw the picture myself, and am not actually sure that the slang part is true now. (I can find references to it online, but not necessarily ones I'd consider authoritative.)
> 
> Still, remembering that was a large part of the inspiration for this story, and the not-necessarily-correct-slang-reference probably suits the "It's in Japan? Maybe? Kind of?" nature of DDLC.
> 
> Just as a note, I'm not going to call out every choice the player makes, just ones where something interesting I want to call out happens.
> 
> And the school allows this? - I resisted the urge to extend the joke by having their neighbors be the Girls Only Erection Club. It would be an entirely pointless crossover that wouldn't really suit the tone of where I'm going with the rest of the story.
> 
> will probably lead to a "boring end" or a "but thou must!" - In fact, that wouldn't have happened, so it's a good thing the player didn't pick no.
> 
> layers - Blazer, cardigan, shirt, and bra. I really hope the uniforms shown in DDLC are the school's winter uniforms. Though I'd probably overheat wearing that many layers even in winter.
> 
> ribbon - Biting your ribbon seems to be considered sexy according to a number of works I've seen, but it seems kind of gross to me.


	2. What An Absurd Development This Is

For a while now I'd stopped paying attention to the others and simply lost myself in my own pleasure. I'd even closed my eyes. So I was a bit startled when I heard footsteps coming up to me.

I opened my eyes and saw that Monika was there. In fact, she was very, very, close.

"Hey, Chris," she said softly. "I didn't mention it before, but as the club president, one of my duties is to provide a side dish for the other club members... Could you help me out?"

_'Side dish', what the hell does that mean?_

Is she... does she really mean...

My eyes drifted downwards, and I saw she had a strap-on dildo dangling casually from one hand. So, she must, but... I'd barely even interacted with Monika before today, and now I was going to have my first time with her? The idea was completely ridiculous.

Hey, that must mean I'm having that dream again. And that means the answer is obvious.

"Sure," I said.

Relax and enjoy it. I waited quietly as Monika fastened the straps around my hips.

_I have the distinct feeling that this scene was originally Monika putting a condom on a male player character and they cadged things in for a female character. I really don't think a harness like that would go on properly without standing up, if nothing else._

_I'm actually surprised I didn't get to make a decision here, given the way things have been going. Shouldn't this be an important choice point for her route?_

And then Monika carefully lowered herself onto the hard plastic shaft jutting from between my thighs.

If I'd really believed I was dreaming, the illusion would have been shattered by the fact that it just wasn't all that pleasurable. It wasn't exactly bad, either, but this toy just wasn't doing much for me.

"Mnah... re..." Monika moaned.

There was still Monika's body moving against mine, an almost overwhelming feeling even through the uniforms we were both still wearing. Hearing the soft sounds she was making, feeling her breath hot against my face, seeing her looks of desire and pleasure as our eyes met once again and knowing that it was from being with me. I was enjoying all of it.

But I wouldn't be getting off on it anytime soon.

_Okay, points for not treating a strapon as 'basically just like having a penis'._

"Rre... ahn... Chris... is this good for you too?" Monika gasped out.

Oh god, how do I respond to that?

Monika seemed to be able to read it all on my face though, and thankfully it didn't seem to bother her. "Make it up to you later..."

***

_Monika really seemed to like maintaining eye contact no matter what she was doing..._

***

There wasn't any specific signal I could point to as someone saying "Okay, we're done now," it just seemed to happen by mutual consensus. Everyone brought themselves to one last climax (except Monika, who brought -me- to one last climax), and then the cleanup began. Toys were cleaned up and put away, clothes were put back on or just straightened, desks were rearranged, and wet wipes were spread around liberally.

Despite all our efforts, I suspected that anyone who came in the room right now would instantly be able to tell what we had been doing. The room just smelled like lemon and sex instead of only like sex. But I guess if the club had been going this long that it must have been good enough.

"Whew," Sayori said, rubbing an arm across her forehead. "That really takes it out of you."

Natsuki gave Sayori a look that seemed to combine fondness and long-suffering. "Yeah, yeah, I'll get them now."

"Then I'll make some tea as well," Yuri added.

I blinked. "What's going on?" I asked.

"Natsuki's good at baking, so she brings in snacks to help us restore our energy," Monika replied. "And Yuri handles the drinks."

I guess that made sense. As much as any of this made sense anyway.

Natsuki and Yuri walked over to the corner of the room, where Natsuki grabbed a wrapped tray and Yuri opened the closet. Feeling a bit bemused, I waited with the others as Natsuki proudly marched back over to the group, tray in hand. As she sat the tray down on a desk, everyone else except Yuri clustered around it.

"Okaaay, are you ready?" Natsuki said. She's really building up the drama around this for some reason. "Ta-daa!" Natsuki lifted the foil off the tray to reveal a dozen white, fluffy cupcakes decorated to look like little cats. The whiskers are drawn with icing, and little pieces of chocolate were used to make the ears.

"Uwooah!" Sayori called out, obviously entranced. "So cuuuute~!"

"Wow," Monika said. "You really went all out on the decorations today, Natsuki!"

"Ehehe," Natsuki replied. "It just seemed like a good day for it for some reason. Well, hurry up and take one!"

Sayori grabbed one first, then Monika. I followed.

"It's delicious!" Sayori said, talking with her mouth full. She'd already managed to get icing on her face.

I turned the cupcake around in my fingers, looking for the best angle to take a bite. Natsuki had gone quiet, and I couldn't help but notice her sneaking glances in my direction. Was she waiting for me to take a bite? I finally decided that it wasn't going to matter where I started, and took a bite. The icing was sweet and full of flavor - I wondered if she made it herself.

Unlike Sayori, I finished chewing and swallowed before saying anything. "This is really good. Thank you, Natsuki."

Natsuki looked away. She seemed surprisingly embarrassed at the compliment under the circumstances. "It's not like I knew you were going to be here when I made them, but... you're welcome."

Did Sayori tell anyone I was coming? They must all trust her a lot given that nobody panicked when I came in.

Yuri returned, carrying a tea set that she put down on the next desk over. She carefully set out a cup for each of us before pouring the tea.

"You keep a whole tea set in this classroom?" I asked.

"Don't worry, the teachers gave us permission," Yuri replied. That seemed weird to think about, but I guess if it was going to be left here when the club wasn't in session it was different. "After all, there's nothing like a hot cup of tea to raise your spirits after a long day."

"Ah... I-I guess..." I replied. I honestly wasn't sold on hot tea in this situation, but I guess it's okay as long as the weather is cool like this.

"Ehehe, don't let yourself get intimidated," Monika said. "Yuri's just trying to impress you."

"Eh?! T-that's not..." Yuri turned away, looking a bit insulted. "I meant that, you know..."

"I believe you," I said. "Well, I don't drink tea all the time, but I do enjoy it sometimes."

Yuri smiled at me. "I'm glad..." She took a cupcake of her own before sitting down.

I took a cup of tea and claimed a desk for myself. The tea was still hot enough that I could see steam rising from it, and I blew on it to cool it down a bit before I took a sip. It was a little bitter, which struck me as a strange thing to pair with something sweet like Natsuki's cupcakes, but I guess it wasn't bad.

For a few minutes we all sat there quietly, eating our cupcakes and drinking our tea. And then the bell rang, signalling the end of club time.

_Hey, wait, did this game just spend more time on the food than on the sex scene? I thought that was just a put-down used by people who didn't like that one super-popular visual novel!_

"Uwaaa!" Sayori yelped. "I'm supposed to be helping with cleaning today!" She got up and ran for the door, grabbing her bag along the way.

"I should wash the teapot," Yuri said in a milder tone as she got up.

"I'd better go too," Natsuki said, putting the cover back on the tray with the few remaining cupcakes. She looked back at me and smiled before leaving the room, but didn't say anything.

And then it was just me and Monika.

"So, Chris... What do you think of the Self-Study Club?" Monika asked.

Aaa, are you really going to make me say it? It was good, but so much of it is embarrassing to even think about, let alone talk about. Time to evade. "Actually, there's something I was wondering about."

Monika blinked. "Oh? What is it?"

"Why did you decide to make a club like this in the first place?" I asked. "I think I remember you being a leader of the debate club last year, so compared to something serious like that... And if the wrong person learned about this..." I was kind of losing focus, but it felt like I only realized just how confusing I found the whole situation once I started talking.

I wasn't really worried about my own reputation, but Monika was different. So many people looked up to her that a lurid rumor about her would never die down.

"Ahaha, well, you know... To be honest, I can't stand all of the politics around the major clubs. It feels like nothing but arguing about the budget and publicity and how to prepare for events," Monika replied. "I just got tired of how impersonal and uncaring it all felt... I decided I'd rather have something I could enjoy with a small group of friends." Then she winked at me. "But why it's this kind of club is a secret for now~"

Ugh, and that's the part I most wanted to know. "I guess I can understand that," I replied.

Monika smiled at my response, but her gaze felt strangely piercing. "I guess the important question is... Are you going to keep coming back to this club?"

**Yes  
No**

_Wait, you're asking me now? I don't -get- this game's choice design at all._

"Yes," I replied, though I could feel my face turning red as I said it. "I'll come back to the Self-Study Club." And then I'll probably come at the club, an irreverent part of my mind added.

That seemed to make her even happier. "I'm glad." She stepped a bit closer before leaning over and kissing me on the cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow, Chris."

And then she left the room.

For a while I just stood there, one hand gently touching the place her lips had met my cheek. It was such an innocent gesture compared to the other parts of my body those lips had touched, but somehow...

I sighed. That's enough daydreaming.

Maybe now that we were both in a club, I'd start walking home with Sayori again. But she'd be busy for a while yet today, so I left the clubroom and made my way home alone. As I walked, I thought back to the events of the afternoon.

'Self-Study', huh...

I pinched myself just to make sure.

**It's time to write a poem!**

**Pick words you think your favorite club member will like. Something good might happen with whoever likes your poem the most!**

_What the fuck?!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> side dish - A Japanese slang term for something to look at while masturbating. This actually shows up in the Chobits manga, where Chii says "This is a tasty side dish" about some of Hideki's porn. I didn't know what it meant then... now that I do, I can't help but think it raises a lot of questions. Anyway, Chris knows what this means but the player doesn't.
> 
> you're welcome - I think that regardless of other factors, Natsuki'd be a lot less tsun with another girl. So, she's a lot less tsun here.
> 
> cupcakes - A great deal of the food stuff was taken directly from the original game, albeit with changed tense. Some of the details are of course different.
> 
> the end of club time - I -think- this is how it works? Well, either I'm right, or it can be an example of the game not getting Japan right again.
> 
> more time on the food - When I realized where the relative sizes of the scenes were going, I actually said over on the DDLitG discord that I was "feeling a sudden and not entirely welcome kinship with Nasu". Then I decided to hang a lampshade on it. Anyway, this is a reference to Fate/stay night, a game which is famous for it's food porn and infamous for it's porn porn.


	3. This Route Design Is Insane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another thing I should probably mention is that just because I cut away from a scene doesn't mean the game does. I'm just more comfortable with/get more enjoyment from writing foreplay most days?

_Okay. Poem writing. Literature club. That makes sense._

_That makes no sense at all! Up until now I'd been playing a game about sex with a side order of food, where did this come from?_

_Then the little Yuri jumped over a bit._

_..._

_I experimentally clicked on a word. And the little Sayori cheered._

_I tried another, and this time the little Yuri jumped up with a smile._

_Oh my God this is so cute!_

_I think I spent at least ten minutes just reloading a save at the beginning of the poem thing and clicking on words as fast as I could just so I could watch the little Natsuki, Sayori, and Yuri jump up and down. Finally though, I sat down to think about it._

_What would this do? Would this even do anything? And why wasn't there a little Monika anyway? I didn't feel like I had enough information to make a decision here._

_Eh, whatever, let's just click fast again and see what happens, I can always reload once I have a better idea what's going on._

_Pop pop pop pop pop! Hehehehe!_

When I arrived at the clubroom the next day, I was surprised to find that I was only the second one there. As I came through the door, Yuri looked up at me and smiled, but then she went back to the math homework she was working on.

... Huh.

I was thinking about giving my chemistry notes another pass, but then I heard a noise from the closet and realized my previous assessment might have been mistaken. I decided to check it out, and quickly found that it was Natsuki digging through the boxes that were in there.

"Freaking Monika," she muttered, "She never puts my stuff back in the right spot..."

"Do you need any help?" I asked.

"IYAAAAAAA!" Natsuki screamed as she jerked upright and whirled around. "Wha... what are you doing here? You just about gave me a heart attack!"

'So did you,' I decided not to say. "I just heard noise from over here and wondered what was going on."

"Haaa... just don't scare me like that again," she replied, turning back to the shelves.

"Was it really that much of a surprise?" I asked.

"I didn't think anyone else was here yet... and the others usually don't bother me when I'm in here."

Huh. "So what's going on?"

Natsuki seemed to hesitate for a moment. "... You read manga, right?"

Under other circumstances, I might have been a bit more hesitant, since a lot of people our age start getting reallly judgemental about it. But, well, compared to what happened yesterday. "Sometimes. How did you know, anyway?"

Natsuki didn't reply immediately, and when she did she sounded a bit puzzled. "I'm not sure. I guess Sayori must have mentioned it?" She coughed. "Anyway, I keep my collection here, but Monika keeps moving everything around for some reason."

"I see." I didn't really understand either of those things, but this didn't seem like the time to bring it up. Then I saw a lone volume of manga amidst a stack of various books on the side of one of the shelves. "Is that one of yours?"

"There it is!", Natsuki yelled triumphantly as she grabbed it and slipped the volume into the middle of one of the boxes. "Ah, much better! Seeing a box set with one book missing is probably the most irritating sight in the world."

If that was how I felt I'd probably go insane. I only really got upset when a volume stayed missing. But I decided to keep quiet about that too, and instead took a closer look at the box set she was admiring. "Parfait Girls...?" It's a series I've never heard of in my life. That could mean a lot of different things, but most of them weren't good.

"If you're gonna judge, you can go do it through the glass on that door," Natsuki said, pointing to the classroom door.

"I-It's not like that!" I stammered. "It's just that since I'm sharing my collection, I have to take the other person's tastes into account too, and there's some genres I just don't see much of!"

She gave me an evaluating look. "Oh? So what series are you most interested in right now?"

I thought about it for a moment. "Probably 'Gates of the Assassin'." It was an action-heavy shonen series, and I wasn't really in the target demographic for it at all, but whatever, I didn't care.

"So that's the kind of guy Chris is into, huh? I didn't really think you'd be a fujoshi though."

I cringed theatrically. "Oh god, anything but that!"

Natsuki laughed at that, and I laughed right along with her.

"Besides, I'm not really interested in guys at all," I added.

"Ah..." Natsuki sounded oddly surprised. I wasn't sure why, given yesterday and all.

Neither of us said anything for a while, and I decided to go back out and find something else to do. It didn't seem like Natsuki really needed my help here. As I turned, I heard her start rustling around in the boxes again, and figured that my conclusion had been accurate.

Then she grabbed my arm.

"Uwa!!" Was this Natsuki's revenge?

"Come on," she sighed, and dragged me out of the closet. Then she took a seat next to the wall, beneath the windowsills, and patted the ground next to her, signalling that I should sit there.

I wasn't really sure what was going on, but I shrugged and sat down next to her anyway.

That's when she shoved a book into my hands, which I quickly realized was the first volume of Parfait Girls. The cover featured four girls in colorful attire striking animated feminine poses. It was exceedingly 'moe'.

"You need to expand your horizons!" Natsuki proclaimed. "If you don't read anything but shonen, your brain will melt."

I didn't read -nothing- but shonen, but it didn't seem worth quibbling. But this position... "Wouldn't chairs be more comfortable?" I asked.

Natsuki shook her head. "Chairs wouldn't work. We can't read at the same time like that." Her face was a little red though.

I shrugged. "I guess."

I started reading. It looked like it was about a bunch of friends in high school. Typical slice-of-life affair I guess? It was actually kind of relaxing.

Natsuki was looking over my shoulder as I read, and suddenly started laughing when I turned the page. "Ahahaha! I totally forgot that happens!" She put her finger on one of the panels. "Minori is one of my favorite characters. You always feel a little bad for her, since she's so unlucky. But it gets especially bad when--" Suddenly she stopped, realizing that she was about to give out spoilers. "... Never mind, just keep reading."

I kept reading. I was actually starting to get into it, but I still couldn't help noticing that Natsuki kept getting closer.

"You know... a lot of people actually consider this a bit of a girl's love series. Like, yeah, there's the chapter where they're obsessed with a guy at the ice cream shop, but there's so much more interaction and chemistry between the female leads. And then there's what happens in volume 7..."

I could feel Natsuki pressed up against my side now. I turned towards her to ask a question, but any thoughts I had of saying anything about the manga fled when I realized how close Natsuki's lips were to mine. They looked so warm and soft and inviting that I had the sudden urge to lean in a bit further and kiss her.

So I did.

If it'd been left to me, I might have pulled away after a moment. Not because I wasn't enjoying it - I was actually shocked by how good it felt. But Natsuki hadn't wasted any time grabbing onto me and didn't seem inclined to let go anytime soon.

I'd heard of 'french kissing', but neither of us was getting quite that adventurous. Just feeling her lips moving against mine was already enough to send tingles through my entire body as it was.

But in the end I did pull away first - not because I was out of air or anything like that, but because the way I twisting my body was really awkward and was getting uncomfortable.

I carefully set the volume of Parfait Girls that I'd been reading up on a desk - I wasn't sure I'd survive damaging it. Natsuki, in the meantime, seemed to have realized what the problem was and climbed into my lap.

Kissing each other was a lot more comfortable like this. But I was starting to feel like there were entirely too many layers of cloth between us. And from the way Natsuki was starting to fumble at the buttons on my blazer, I could tell she felt the same way. I'd only gotten two of her buttons undone before I had to stop for a moment so she could slide my blazer off of me. But it was my turn next, and I took advantage of the moment to pull her cardigan off in one fell swoop.

That was when I learned an important new fact about Natsuki. She didn't wear a bra.

Natsuki paused and looked away for a moment. "I know they aren't very big..." she said before trailing off.

"They're cute," I replied. Since I'd gotten her shirt halfway unbuttoned by this point, I felt I could speak with authority. She still seemed to be thinking about how to respond to that when I pulled her a bit closer and began licking her breasts, and language seemed to desert her for the time being.

I'd been trying to be careful, but I didn't have much experience with this, and when she let out a ragged gasp I realized that I'd accidentally let one of my teeth scrape against one of her nipples. I pulled back and looked up at her in concern.

"... do that again," she mumbled.

... Okay, I was fine with that reaction. I went back to what I was doing, and this time wasn't as shy about keeping my teeth out of things, though it never reached the point of biting. That seemed like it would be too much. I'd stopped worrying about getting her shirt the rest of the way off and was stroking her back with my free hand as she writhed against me.

After a while of that, Natsuki pushed on my shoulder, and I pulled back and looked up at her.

Natsuki looked like a real mess. Her hair disheveled, her shirt barely still on with her ribbon dangling off one side, her face and chest wet with saliva. And there was a look in her eyes that said she'd had enough of me toying around with her, and that it was time for her to toy around with -me-.

God, she was beautiful.

***

When Natsuki and I had finally had our fill of each other, it was well after the usual time for clubs to let out, though we should still be able to get out of here without getting into trouble if we hurried.

Yuri had already left, which I guess didn't surprise me. And at some point Sayori had come, doodled on the chalkboard, and left. It was almost a shame to erase the (heavily stylized, but surprisingly evocative) drawing of Natsuki and I together, but since other people used this classroom during the day, it would give away too much.

I did take a picture of it with my phone first though.

The two of us stopped at the clubroom door before heading out. Natsuki still looked a little rumpled, and I probably didn't look any better, but it was probably good enough.

"You'll finish reading that manga tonight, right?" Natsuki asked.

"Yeah, I will," I said. I thought about giving her a kiss goodbye, but I was worried that if I tried, I wouldn't want to stop, and we could end up being late enough to get in real trouble. I settled on giving her a hug instead, one that she returned.

"See you tomorrow, Chris," she said.

And then we left the clubroom and went our separate ways.

_And then the poem game came up again._

_... Wait a minute. I remember Natsuki jumping up and down more than the others when I did this the last time._

_Did I get a scene with Natsuki because she liked my 'poem' the most? Despite not seeing it? When would it have even come up? That's..._

_That's bullshit! This is even worse than that one game where a side character can have always been a robot based on your choices!_

_... Well, maybe it's not that bad. Just, what the hell?_

_I guess I'll stick with Natsuki for this playthrough, assuming I'm right. Being fickle is almost always the wrong choice in dating sims after all._

_But it's still bullshit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> clicking on words as fast as I could - I totally do this.
> 
> volume 7 - Natsuki mentions volume 7 of Parfait Girls having a yuri sublpot in Strip Poker Night at the Inventory.
> 
> Despite not seeing it - It's actually kind of weird in DDLC that the person who likes your poem the most gets a scene with you before anyone else sees your poem at all.
> 
> always been a robot - This refers to the game "Critical Point", which makes for a very confusing sort of mystery because depending on your choices, lots of things that take place before the game can chage. It's really weird and confusing sometimes.


	4. Slipping Through the Cracks

The next day everyone ended up in the clubroom at the same time. And somehow I was even more confused now than I had been on the first day.

"If you could get over yourself and learn to appreciate that simple writing is more effective... What's the point in making your poems all convoluted for no reason?" Natsuki wasn't quite shouting, but she was definitely getting there. "The meaning should jump out at the reader, not force them to have to figure it out."

"N-no!" Yuri wasn't as loud as Natsuki, but there was obviously a lot of passion in her speech. "There's a reason we have so many deep and expressive words in our language. It's the only way to convey complex feelings and meaning the most effectively. Avoiding them is not only unnecessarily limiting yourself...it's also a waste!"

Why had this subject even come up in the first place, let alone sparked such a harsh disagreement? Maybe I should try not to get involved.

Natsuki gritted her teeth. "Well, you know what?! I wasn't the one whose boobs magically grew a size bigger as soon as Chris started showing up!!"

Wait, what?

"Uu..." Yuri cringed for a moment, but then struck back. "At least I don't deliberately go out of my way to make everything I do overly cutesy!"

What the hell was going on here?

Was this what the entire argument had been about? Was 'short words' versus 'long words' a coded reference to breast size? But that didn't make any sense either!

Besides, it wasn't like I had any room to complain about anyone else's chest, not when I didn't have much more up top than Natsuki. I could probably get away without wearing a bra myself, but if I do that the material in the uniform shirts makes me itchy.

I once again resolved to stay the hell out of this, but Sayori was looking more and more agitated by the moment.

Finally, she jumped up and shouted "Stop!!"

"This doesn't involve you, Sayori!" Yuri snapped, and it looked like Natsuki agreed with the sentiment.

Sayori was taken aback for a moment, but pressed on. "... You're wrong. When you're shouting at each other right in front of us, you've made us a part of it whether we want to be or not!"

Yuri shrunk back a bit at Sayori's outburst, and Natsuki turned away with a huff, but I thought I caught a hint of shame on her face.

"But more importantly than that..." Sayori continued, her tone softening, "You're our friends. When you're hurt, that matters to us, even when you're hurting each other." She sighed. "Both of you make such beautiful poems, they make me feel like I'm looking into another world... so why are we fighting?"

Wait, so there were actual poems? I wondered why I hadn't seen any of them.

"Be-Because..." Natsuki stammered, before trailing off, apparently unable to come up with a reply.

"Well..." Yuri seemed similarly afflicted.

Sayori walked over and gave Natsuki a hug. For a moment the smaller girl froze up, before leaning into the embrace, and I found myself imagining her as a startled cat. "Also! Natsuki's cute and there's nothing wrong with that!"

Natsuki mumbled something that sounded like "'m not cute", but she didn't try to pull away.

Sayori held on for a bit longer before letting go and moving over to Yuri. "And Yuri's boobs are the same as they always were!" Her hands snaked under Yuri's arms to cup her breasts. "Big and beautiful!!"

"Sayori..." Yuri protested, but she didn't sound at all unhappy. And she seemed to just melt when Sayori moved on from cupping to squeezing.

"And very, very, soft," Sayori added.

Natsuki came over to where I was sitting and put an arm over my shoulder.

"Wow..." I whispered. "Sayori's pretty dangerous, isn't she?"

"Mmhmmm," Natsuki replied, her eyes never leaving the other two girls.

Of course, neither had mine. Which is why I noticed when Sayori looked at something behind us and a worried look came over her face.

I wondered what that was about. There wasn't anything over there that there would be any reason to worry about, just Monika sitting at her desk.

_What the fuck?_

_..._

_..._

_No, seriously, what the fuck?_

***

Friday already, huh? It felt like the days had just flown by since I joined the Self-Study Club.

At the moment, we were just waiting for Natsuki to show up.

Sayori let out a huge, gusty sigh. "I'm hungry..." she whimpered.

I patted her on the shoulder. "Sorry. I'd loan you some money to get a snack, but..." I'd forgotten to bring my wallet entirely today. Since I brought my own lunch I hadn't exactly suffered, even if I'd only had water to drink, but... I was really looking forward to Yuri's tea today.

"Yeah, I know, but..." she sighed again, her head thrown back to look up at the ceiling.

And then a cookie, wrapped in plastic, landed in her lap.

"Huh?" Sayori pulled herself up to look at what had fallen on her, and her face lit up when she saw the cookie. "Is this a miracle? Manna from heaven in the form of cookies?!"

"Ahahaha!" Natsuki's laughter rung out over the room. "I was just gonna give it to you, but when I heard that sigh I just had to see how you'd react. Ahahaha!"

"N-Natsuki!! That's so nice of you! I'm so happy..." Sayori seemed unperturbed even though she was being made fun of, at least a little bit. She quickly tore the wrapper open and took a big bite. "Sho good..."

Natsuki took a seat next to me. "Ah... I got you one too, Chris," she said, and handed me another cookie, before finally pulling out one of her own.

"Thank you!" Even if I wasn't going to complain as much as Sayori, I'd resigned myself to having to wait until I got home to have a snack, so I was really happy. I was more sedate about opening mine than Sayori had been, but I probably took just as big a bite out of it.

"Oooh, yours looks really good too, Natsuki! Can I try it?" Sayori asked.

"Jeez...beggers can't be choosers!" Natsuki replied.

Sayori was undeterred. "But yours is chocolate..."

"Yeah, why do you think I gave you that one?" I see Natsuki has her priorities in order.

"Fine... still, I'm really happy that you shared this one with me. Ehehe~" Sayori stood up and went around behind Natsuki, then wrapped her arms around her. Just like yesterday, Natsuki froze for a moment, before relaxing and leaning into it, her eyes slipping closed.

And then Sayori leaned over and took a bite out of Natsuki's cookie.

Natsuki's eyes snapped open. "Wha- Did you seriously just do that?!"

"Uhuhuhu!" Sayori laughed - thankfully with mouth closed - before chewing and swallowing the bite. "It was delicious!" she added before letting go and heading back to her seat.

Natsuki didn't say anything, just stared at her cookie for a moment before carefully taking a bite... right around where Sayori had taken hers.

An indirect kiss via a cookie??

I turned my attention back to my own snack... and realized Sayori had grabbed a bite of mine while I was distracted.

That little minx.

"Does anyone have plans for the festival?" Monika asked.

Most of the clubs were doing their own little events during the festival. It could be both a fun activity and a way to promote the club to try and bring in new members... but of course, we weren't doing that. The Self-Study Club was by invitation only. And if that meant it would come to an end when we graduated...

... Well, maybe that was only a little sad.

"My class is doing a cafe," Natsuki grumbled. Wait, why was she upset? "Ugh, it's so generic... But all I have to do is make cookies, and I don't need to do anything on the day itself, so that's good at least."

"You aren't making cupcakes?" I asked.

"Only club members rate cupcakes," Natsuki replied firmly.

"My class is doing a haunted house," Yuri said. Then she looked away, seeming embarrassed. "But they wouldn't let me help... Everyone said I'd make things too scary."

I couldn't help but chuckle at that. Yuri must really be into horror stuff. I didn't know that, but then I'd probably spent the least time with her of any of the other club members.

"My class is doing a sort of game show theme," Sayori said. "There's going to be these quizzes, but then you have to give your answer by doing a little physical challenge, like a ring toss or something."

"I'm part of the group working on the prizes," I added. "We're pretty much done though, it's just waiting for the day itself now."

"What about you, Monika?" Sayori asked.

"I'm actually going to be going to an event the Light Music Club is running," she replied.

"You're a member of that club as well?" Yuri asked, sounding surprised.

"No, no, this is my only club... but they're having an event where other people can sing too, and since I have a song I've been trying to write, I thought I'd do it."

"You should let us hear you sing it!" Sayori said. "After all, with all the different things we're doing, there's no way we'd all be able to be there to hear you then."

"Ah?" Monika blinked. "All right, I guess I can do it, although it won't be the same without the piano."

She got up and stood at the front of the room.

"Does my pen only write bitter words for those who are dear to me..."

***

"And if I can't open my hand and let you go,  
I'll write a future where I can be with you."

Sayori actually stood up and applauded. "Bravo! Bravo!"

"Your voice is very beautiful, Monika," Yuri added.

Monika blushed and tried to wave off the compliments, but I could tell she was pleased.

"Meh," Natsuki said.

Wha-What's with that reaction?!

Natsuki flinched as she realized everyone was staring at her. "Ugh... It's not like I thought your singing was bad or anything, but the song jumped around so much tonally that I have no idea how it's supposed to make me feel!"

Monika scratched her head. "Well, it is my first time writing a song, so I guess I can't expect to get it perfect the first time... but as long as I keep working at it, I'm sure I can make it work."

"Well, I liked it," I added. I really had, even if I could see where Natsuki was coming from.

"Thank you, Chris," Monika replied with a smile.

***

Sayori and I were the last ones to leave the clubroom that day. As I packed up my things, I noticed she seemed a bit pensive.

"Chris? Can you come over to my house sometime tomorrow?" she asked. "There's something I want to talk to you about."

I thought about it. Since we were done with our festival preparations, I wasn't sure what she wanted. But at the same time, that meant I didn't have any reason to say no.

"Sure," I said. "Does three sound okay?"

"That's great!" Sayori replied, the smile coming back to her face. "I'll see you then!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to take some scenes from the original game and twist them around in interesting ways in this chapter.
> 
> Of course, you might be wondering why a porn game would have people talking about poetry. Well, there's an answer to that: It's *long string of glitch text*
> 
> Anyway, now that I've cleared that up...
> 
> You're wrong - I suppose I got a bit soapboxey here, but it's all things I can imagine Sayori saying. I really don't think much of the 'our argument isn't about you, so it doesn't involve you' argument in situations like what was shown in the game.
> 
> indirect kiss - If it weren't for this, I probably wouldn't have included the cookie scene at all, but I'm glad I did, because I like how it turned out even without that.
> 
> it's so generic - According to some anime or manga that I can't remember, the two most common/generic things for a class to do for a school festival are a cafe and a haunted house. So of course I had both represented. The idea for what Chris and Sayori's class is doing actually came from a page suggesting things an English club could do for one.
> 
> And if I can't open my hand and let you go - What do you get when you play "Your Reality" backwards? Answer: Not this, but that was sort of the theme I had in mind.


	5. Maybe Love is Hard to Find

Saturday was, so far, shaping up to be a pretty dull day for me. I knew a lot of my schoolmates would still be busy with festival preparations, but my group had worked hard on our part and gotten finished already.

At least, that's how we hoped our efforts would be judged, rather than "did the bare minimum required so they could have some extra time off". I thought we'd done all right, but it wouldn't be me making the final evaluation there.

There was a new volume of "Gates of the Assassin" that had just been released, but I'd lost when it was time to decide who got to read it first, which hadn't really left me in the mood to read manga at all. And if I went looking for something to do online I'd probably run into spoilers.

Feh... some day off this was turning out to be.

Even though it'd only been a few days, it still felt strange realizing I wouldn't be seeing Natsuki or the other club members today. I guess they'd really made an impression on me, in a lot of different ways.

Well, at least I'd be going to visit Sayori today. I wondered what she wanted to talk about.

Three o'clock couldn't come fast enough.

***

...

***

...

***

...

***

Screw it. If I sit around here any longer I'm going to lose my mind.

***

I reached Sayori's house and knocked on the door.

There wasn't any answer, so after a while I tried knocking again.

Still no one. I was a bit surprised, with her being the one who had invited me and all. Well, maybe she was listening to music and had headphones on or something? Luckily, we were close enough that we had keys to each other's places, so I could let myself in.

"Sayori?" I called. Still no response. I was really starting to wonder. Was she even here?

I went upstairs and found that the door to her room was closed. Maybe she was taking a nap?

Well, I should at least check before I leave. I gently opened the door...

...What the hell? Was this for real?

I... I'd heard of things like this, but...

Since when had Sayori...?

"Chriis!" Sayori called out. "Helllpppp!!"

All I could think for a moment was "rope". I didn't think I'd ever seen this much rope in one place outside of a hardware store, and I could barely follow where it was all going. Loops and loops of purple held taut against Sayori's bare skin, wrapped around her legs, her thighs, her breasts, even her arms, with lines going out to different pieces of furniture to hold her securely in place.

"I- I wanted to burn off some tension before you came over, but I dropped the keys, and-" Sayori gasped out, before her eyes went wide. "Uwaaaaaaa!"

I looked down and saw a ring with a pair of keys lying on the floor. Even if she'd been a bit less heavily restrained, they would probably have been out of her reach. Thanks to the internet, I knew in a general sense what bondage was, but... had she done all of this herself? How?!?

On top of that, I now realized she had one of those horrid-looking vibrating wands strapped to one leg, mindlessly carrying out it's function with no understanding that it's services were no longer welcome. Because even as her body shook with orgasm, it was obvious that Sayori wasn't even remotely happy about what was going on.

The first thing I did was shut that thing off. The second thing was try to figure out what the third thing should be. Then I shrugged mentally and just started untying whatever loose ends I could find. I still couldn't tell how this all went together, but eventually that should result in getting her loose, right?

... Oh, so there's where the keys are supposed to go. How had she done -that-? How was she supposed to -undo- that?

Whatever, it didn't matter. The important thing was that I'd gotten Sayori's arms free, and she sagged against me. This did not make getting the rest of the ropes undone any easier, but I kept at it.

Finally, the last one fell loose, but Sayori didn't stop clinging to me. She looked like she was about wiped out. "Is there anything else I can do?" I asked.

"Could you... just hold me, and stay with me for a while?" Sayori asked.

"Of course," I replied. That was the least of what I'd be willing to do.

Still hanging onto one of my arms for support, Sayori staggered over to her bed, and we both laid down on it. It would be a bit small for two people normally, but with the way Sayori immediately curled up against me we managed to both fit. Even though the room was reasonably warm, I realized that she was shivering, and pulled a blanket up over us.

"I think I was starting to lose track of time," Sayori whispered. "I thought you'd decided not to come, and I'd be stuck there for..." She shuddered. "But you're actually early, aren't you?"

"A bit." I wasn't going to get my phone out to check, but I didn't think it was even three yet. "I'm sorry I didn't come sooner."

"That's okay," Sayori said with a yawn. "The important thing is... that you came for me..."

I guess she was right.

... This time. But I was worried about what could happen if Sayori did this again. I guess she must know what she's doing to have managed it at all, but anyone can make a mistake, and if I hadn't already been planning to come over, it could have been really bad.

**Tell Sayori she should stop doing this.  
Ask to join in.**

_Urrrgh. What a terrible set of options._

_Telling Sayori to stop was probably just going to alienate her. No one likes giving up things they enjoy. But -I- don't enjoy bondage, so I didn't want to go down the other route._

_I was about to say the hell with it and tell her to stop - whatever, I'm focusing on Natsuki, so it shouldn't make much of a difference, right? - but then I blinked. Had that always been there?_

**Tell Sayori she should stop doing this.  
Ask to join in.  
Offer to spot for her.**

_I wasn't entirely sure what that was supposed to mean, but I still latched onto it like a lifeline. It had to be better than the alternatives_

"Sayori..." I began. I was probably going to say this wrong, but hopefully she'd understand. "Would you like me to come over when you want to do this again?"

"Huh?"

"Ah... not to participate or anything!" I quickly added. "Just to stay nearby, so that if something goes wrong I can help immediately. You're my best friend... I don't want to see you get hurt."

Sayori didn't say anything for a long time, long enough that I wondered if she'd fallen asleep. But then she finally replied, "Yeah... I think I'd like that, Chris."

_And then the game crashed._

_I guess I have had the game running for a fairly long time at this point. Maybe this is one of those programs that gets unstable over time. So I started it back up..._

_... And all my saves were gone._

_The hell? I've loaded my saves after closing and reopening the game a couple times before, so I know my saves were, in fact, actually saved, so what was this shit?_

_I'll be the first to admit that I'm not much of a programmer, and I didn't even know what language this game was written in. Getting help from the original developer was out. Yeah, I can imagine how that would go._

_'So I downloaded your game, but when I started playing it was full of porn for some reason, but then the game crashed and all my saves disappeared, plz help.' Great plan. I bet I'd get banned faster than anyone in history._

_But if I could find an error log or something, I might be able to google for it and see if anyone else had the same issue._

_Well, I found what looked like an error log, but I didn't get very far from there._

__

I'm sorry, but an uncaught exception occurred.

__

_Well, at least it's polite._

_After that were some of lines of what might as well be written in Linear A for all I could understand them, but what followed..._

__

RestartTopContext: What? This wasn't what was supposed to happen at all!  
Actually, you know what? This would probably be a lot easier if I just d-  
...  
...  
No.   
I don't need to do that.  
I can still make this work.

__

_And following that came an excerpt from the Necronomicon, or at least it felt like my sanity was slipping away when I tried to figure out any of it._

_I... I just... What?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Centering probably isn't the best way to call out the contents of traceback.txt, but I'm already using bold and italic for other things, so...
> 
> purple - I hate red rope. If I ever write a bondage scene where someone's using red rope, that's entirely sufficient reason to call for master/stranger protocols.
> 
> even her arms - Pretty much everywhere but her neck in fact. It might seem unbelievable, but I've seen videos of people tying themselves up in ways that are as elaborate as this.
> 
> untying whatever loose ends I could find - This is only one of a number of not-really-safe things in this chapter. Pretty much everyone seems to say that if you need to get someone loose quick you should be cutting them loose with safety scissors. Of course, Sayori probably doesn't have any, which would make that not exactly Chris's fault.


	6. In the Literature Club of the Poison Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since it matters in this chapter, I'm going to note up front that one of the assumptions this story makes is that the vast majority of copies of DDLC in the world are normal visual novels and none of the characters become sapient or self-aware or anything like that.

_I'd decided to do some of those extra antivirus scans I'd been thinking about while I thought things over. I even used my laptop to download one of those ones that runs off a bootable cd to make extra sure of things._

_And while that was running, I went looking for Doki Doki Literature Club playthrough videos._

_To my complete lack of surrpise, there was an actual literature club, and the members wrote actual poems. And treated the player's word salad as a poem. Though they still seemed to react to the player's poem before they saw it, which was still insane._

_The boob argument still happened, and it did -not- make any more sense in context. And Sayori still seemed quite ready to compliment Yuri's breasts._

_Strangely, Monika didn't seem to have a route. Either that or it was really well hidden. Who puts that much effort into creating a character for a game like this and doesn't give them some unique scenes?_

_For a while there I asked myself if it wasn't time to just wash my hands of this whole mess. I wasn't getting any closer to figuring out what was going on here, and I wasn't sure that was really going to change._

_But on the other hand, it wasn't like there were any additional costs but my time at this point. And I still wanted to know what was really going on here. Beyond that, I'd actually started getting attached to the characters._

_So I was going to give it another shot after all._

_The first day went the same as the last time. Or it was about the same, anyway. I actually thought some of Monika's expressions might be different, but it was hard to tell, since I hadn't been recording or making screenshots. I hadn't thought I'd -need- to._

_Actually, it was pretty weird that this game didn't have a CG room of any kind. Even non-porn visual novels usually have one of those in my experience._

_I guess it didn't make that much difference._

_I'd thought about picking the male character this time just to see if anything was different, but decided against it. I still preferred playing a female character, after all. But when the poetry game came up, I decided to go for Sayori instead. Yeah, that'll probably mean some scenes with stuff I'm not into, and if it gets to be too much I'll probably start over with Natsuki, but..._

_... Well, I was worried about her. Look, I said I was getting attached, all right?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The name of this chapter (and the previous one) are taken from the song "In the Church of the Poison Mind", by Culture Club.
> 
> Strangely, Monika didn't seem to have a route - Yeah, this is kind of meta to say, but I think it would actually be unusual for Monika not to have a route in a game of the kind that DDLC makes itself look like. With a bigger cast, maybe it'd be different, but as things are it seems jarring.


	7. One Step Forwards, Two Steps Sideways

When I arrived at the clubroom the next day, I was surprised to find that I was only the second one there. As I came through the door, Yuri looked up at me and smiled, but then she went back to the math homework she was working on.

... Huh.

I was giving my chemistry notes another pass when Sayori came in. This immediately proved to be too much of a distraction for me, as Sayori went over to the closet and began noisily rooting around inside. What was she doing?

Then she came out and ran up to me. "Chris, Chris! I'm gonna go get some supplies from another classroom. Want to come with me?"

I blinked. "Supplies?" I asked. "What for?"

"Well, you know how the festival is coming up?" Sayori said, to which I nodded. "I want to get started on the decorations, but I don't have enough crayons, or markers, or glue sticks..."

"Ah, I see." I replied. Our class was doing a sort of game show theme, and Sayori was going to be making decorations for some of the booths. I really should have guessed what she meant, but it must have slipped my mind. "Sure, I'll go with you."

I'd started putting my things away when Yuri came up to me. "Chris? Do you have a pen I can borrow?"

"Sure," I said, and handed her the pen I'd been using. I probably wouldn't need it for a while, and I had others I could use if I needed to anyway.

***

"Ehehe~" Sayori laughed. "It's so much fun exploring empty classrooms and stuff!"

"Don't forget that we're looking for specific things here," I reminded her. I had a feeling that if I left her to herself, she'd get so caught up in poking around in everything that she'd keep at it for hours.

"I won't!" She replied as she skipped down the hallway. "Hey, Chris, this classroom over here is empty! Let's begin the mission!"

Wait, it's a mission now?! Maybe I'd made a mistake.

The two of us entered the classroom and immediately headed straight for the closet.

"Let's see what we have in here..." Sayori said, pulling a box off the shelf and opening it up. Sheesh, none of these were labeled, that was going to be a pain. "Jackpot!" She turned the box towards me, showing that it was full of glue sticks.

"How many of those do you need?" I asked.

"Ehhh..." Sayori pulled three out and set them to the side. "This should be enough. I'll just bring back whatever I don't need later."

"Okay." I picked up a box of my own and looked inside. Well, if I needed rubber bands I knew where to go now.

Sayori, in the meantime, was craning her neck towards a box that was jammed in on the very top shelf. "I think there's crayons in this one," she said.

"Why that one?" I asked.

"I can smell them."

Uhhhh... sure, okay.

"Nnnngh..." Sayori was trying to pull the box out, but didn't seem to be able to get a good grip on it. "It won't come out! How did they even get it in there like this?"

"Maybe we should try somewhere else," I offered.

"No way! These crayons aren't going to escape me!" What? Why are you getting so determined now?

I watched haplessly as Sayori dragged a chair over and climbed up. The extra height was at least enough to get a good grip on the box, but Sayori still seemed to be struggling. Finally though it began to move.

"Almost got it... good crayons, here I come..." Sayori muttered. And then, with one final jerk, the box came free... and Sayori overbalanced. "Wha- Kyaaaaaaaa!" Sayori yelped as she toppled over.

I frantically tried to catch her, but all I managed to accomplish was getting borne to the ground with her. The box burst open in the air, and crayons showered down all around us. I flinched as a few hit me in the face. By some miracle I avoided hitting my head, but my back had hit the floor hard enough that when the dust settled I didn't much feel like getting up right away, even if Sayori hadn't been sprawled on top of me.

"Haaaa... haaaaa..." Sayori panted.

"Are you all right?" I asked.

Sayori shifted around a bit on top of me, which seemed to be a combination of making sure everything responded without pain and trying to figure out how to get up without grinding her knees or elbows into my body. I got the impression that she was having more luck with the former than the latter. "I'm all right," she replied softly before apparently giving up on getting up for now and letting her head fall back against my chest.

"Hmmmm... you smell kinda nice, Chris," she said.

"Ah... thank you?" I replied. I wasn't really sure how to respond to that. It wasn't like I'd done anything unusual today. And I didn't wear perfume - it wasn't exactly against the rules, but teachers tended to glare at you if they smelled any.

Sayori slithered her way up my body, and I found myself disconcertingly aware of the way her breasts were pressing against mine. "Hmhmhmhm," she chuckled softly. "I can't help but get excited in a situation like this."

"Sayo?" I asked, though I wasn't really sure what I was asking.

Sayori just laughed again. And then she kissed me.

I'd never thought of Sayori as a romantic prospect before. We were childhood friends, it would have been weird. And besides, I'd been pretty sure she was straight.

That first meeting with the Self-Study Club had shattered that impression, and now here she was, giving me my first kiss, and it felt so-

Wait. Was this my first kiss?

And then I heard the creak of the door beginning to open.

***

Somehow, the two of us managed to scramble to our feet and hide inside the closet before the door opened fully. Of course, the crayons scattered on the floor would be an obvious clue if whoever had entered decided to look.

But apparently they either didn't look or didn't care. I heard what I thought were three girls' voices based on the tone, but the sounds were muffled enough from in here that I couldn't understand their words. None of them seemed interested in our hiding place.

If we hadn't hid we could probably have bluffed our way out, maybe even gone back to looking for art supplies like nothing unusual was going on. But if we came out now, someone would wonder why we'd hidden in the first place, and things would get really awkward.

What were we going to do?

"Chriiis," Sayori whined softly, "Please..."

"What is it?" I whispered.

Sayori didn't answer me with words. Instead, she gently took one of my hands and slid it into her panties.

Uwaaa, she's so wet... Was this just from the kiss, or was she getting turned on from doing this in such a risky place?

Her lips met mine again, and where the previous kiss had been soft and tentative, this was hard and insistent, and I got the impression that she was more interested in trying to muffle the noises she was making right now.

Then I felt her pushing my pants down, and realized she could be doing it to muffle the noises -I- was going to be making.

***

I squinted as we stepped out of the closet, the light feeling unnaturally harsh after the time we'd spent cooped up in the dark space.

"Ugh, I thought they'd never leave," I groused. I'd never thought of myself as being an... exhibitionist? Wait, no, that's when people can actually see you. I'd never thought of myself as a whatever-we'd-just-done-type-person, but Sayori's enthusiasm had been contagious. But then we'd finished, and they still hadn't left. I didn't mind spending time with Sayori but I could easily imagine much more pleasant places to spend it.

"Mmmmm... at least the crayons are okay," Sayori replied, crouching down so she could grab the box and start scooping the crayons back into it.

Oh yeah, we were here for a reason. "Is there anything else you need?" I didn't really feel like spending that much more time searching now, but I didn't think Sayori would give up so easily.

"Just the markers," Sayori reminded me. "We already had poster paper in our classroom, so that's all that's left."

"Oh, yeah." I went back to the closet and started digging again, thankfully finding a box with some markers without any further incidents. And in the meantime, Sayori had finished picking up the crayons and thrown the glue sticks in on top.

It was well after the usual time for clubs to let out when we got back to the clubroom, though we should still be able to get out of here without getting into trouble if we hurried. Yuri had already left, so it was still just me and Sayori.

"Hey, Chris, since we're already here, do you want to walk home together?" Sayori asked.

"Sure," I replied. "I can help you carry this stuff home too."

"Yaay~" Sayori cheered, smiling brightly at me.

She's so cute.

_... Huh._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I was reviewing scenes from the game as part of outlining this act, I realized I'd gotten things mixed up between a Sayori scene and a Natsuki scene.
> 
> So I shrugged and ran with it.
> 
> I can smell them - As someone who sometimes gets nauseated by the smell of crayons, I can attest that they have a very distinctive scent. Whether you could really tell the brand that way as Sayori seems to, I don't know.
> 
> perfume - I think one of my schools actually did have rules against wearing perfume and cologne.


	8. Obsession

When I reached the clubroom the next day, I found that it was once again just me and Yuri. I didn't manage to do much more than sit down before she came up to me.

"Here's the pen I borrowed back," she said with a smile. "Thank you for loaning it to me."

"No problem," I replied as I took the pen from her.

...

Wait a minute.

"Uh, why is it sticky?" I asked.

"I licked it and rubbed it all over my body when I pleasured myself last night," she replied with the same gentle smile. Then, after I didn't say anything else, she turned and went back to her seat.

I just sat there and stared at the pen I was still holding for a while. How should I even react to something like that?

Then I took a tenative sniff.

... It actually smelled pretty good.

No way I was going to lick it though. I only knew some of the places that it'd been.

***

"If you could get over yourself and learn to appreciate that simple writing is more effective... What's the point in making your poems all convoluted for no reason?" Natsuki wasn't quite shouting, but she was definitely getting there. "The meaning should jump out at the reader, not force them to have to figure it out."

"N-no!" Yuri wasn't as loud as Natsuki, but there was obviously a lot of passion in her speech. "There's a reason we have so many deep and expressive words in our language. It's the only way to convey complex feelings and meaning the most effectively. Avoiding them is not only unnecessarily limiting yourself...it's also a waste!"

I looked over at Sayori, who shrugged helplessly. I didn't like seeing them fighting like this, but what was I supposed to do? I didn't even understand the argument in the first place.

Natsuki gritted her teeth. "Well, you know what?! I wasn't the one whose boobs magically grew a size bigger as soon as Chris started showing up!!"

Wait, what?

For a long moment Yuri stayed silent, and I was wondering if that crack might have hurt her more than I would have guessed. But then she responded by asking, in a softer and less confrontational tone, "Do you think Chris would like that?"

What?!

"Uhhhhh..." Even Natsuki seemed startled. Then she sighed. "No, Yuri, your... your boobs are great, okay? I was just saying something stupid because I was upset." After that she went and sat down at a desk. I turned to look and saw that she was staring off into the distance with a frown, like she couldn't quite figure out what had just happened.

And into the most awkward silence it had ever been my misfortune to experience, a savior came.

"Ah, Chris, do you think you could come over to my place?" Sayori asked. "I think I need some more help after all."

"Sure," I replied. Anything if it got me out of here sooner.

***

"It looks like you're doing pretty good already, actually," I said as I looked over Sayori's work. "I don't really see what you've got that you'd need my help for."

"Eheh..." Sayori said, tenting her fingers together. "It was really just an excuse for you to come over."

"I see." And I was -not- going to complain. Still, there was something about her expression as she led me to the living room that was putting me on edge. I didn't think she'd invited me over here just for fun. When we sat down on the couch and she didn't even try to cuddle, I felt I was proven right.

"Chris", Sayori asked, "Is there anything about the club that seems... strange to you?"

"Everything about the club feels strange to me," I replied flatly.

"Not like that," Sayori huffed. "Just think about it. Something like this... it should mean we're all really close, right? It takes a lot of trust at the least, and probably at least some mutual attraction."

"Yeah." I remembered thinking about some of that myself that first day. If the wrong person was told about what the club really did and they started spreading it around, it would be a huge blow to the social status of everyone involved. That kind of salacious rumor might follow them even if they switched schools, or into the workplace, so the level of trust involved was really a big deal.

But I wasn't sure where Sayori was going with this.

"And I remember us having that. But... look at what's been happening lately. Natsuki's been spending most of her time sitting in the closet alone reading her manga, and Yuri barely talks to anyone. Monika hasn't even been showing up half the time! What's happening to us, Chris?"

I thought back over the time I'd been in the club, and I could see what she meant, but there was one obvious concern that came to me. "Is it my fault? It sounds like this started when I joined."

Sayori thought about it for a bit before shaking her head. "I don't think so. Maybe things started going bad when you arrived, but I think that was just you revealing a problem that was already there."

That made me feel a bit better for myself, at least.

"Sometimes everything feels right, and I can just enjoy spending time with the other girls. But sometimes..." Sayori slid closer, but it was obvious that she was looking for comfort more than anything else. "... Sometimes there's a voice in my head saying that we shouldn't be this close, or maybe that we shouldn't be this -kind- of close. I think the others are feeling that way too, and that's why everyone's so strange lately. Everyone wants to act like they're fine, and that everything is normal, but it doesn't always work, and then... then we just have to get away."

Neither of us said anything for a while after that. I thought back over what I'd seen of the other club members, and how that compared with what Sayori was describing. It seemed to make sense, but...

I sighed. "I'm sorry. It sounds reasonable, but I just don't know the others well enough to be sure."

"That's okay," Sayori said. "I think I just needed to tell someone about it. Still, until I know why I'm feeling like this, I can't..." She trailed off.

"You can't what?" I asked when I realized she wasn't going to continue.

"Never mind," she said, turning away a bit.

Huh. What was that about?

"Chris? Could we just... stay like this for a while?" Sayori asked.

"Yeah," I replied. "That's fine."

"Mmm," Sayori said, leaning into me. A bit later I saw her eyes slip closed. Was she going to take a nap?

Well, no matter what else was going on, Sayori was still my best friend. This would be fine for a while.

***

When I stopped by my locker the next morning, I found a small package waiting for me. I was curious, since I didn't receive gifts like this very often, so I opened it. Inside was what looked like some kind of small remote control, and a note.

Please push the button whenever you think of me. -Yuri

I wasn't sure what that was about, but it wasn't like it was a difficult request, so I decided to go along with it for now. I pushed the button a couple times, but nothing seemed to happen, then put it in my pocket before getting on with my usual routine.

I could ask Yuri what was going on when I saw her this afternoon.


	9. Crazy Love Will Make You Blind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A minor programming note for Ao3 readers: I've removed the Monika/Sayori tag from the story. It's not that it didn't happen, but since none of it was shown on screen it didn't seem like I should use the tag. Sorry. Tagging is hard!

I nearly recoiled in shock when I arrived at the clubroom that afternoon. I was the last person to arrive that day, and...

Well, the thing that had probably stuck out to me most about Yuri was her grace and composure. Even when I'd seen her deeply immersed in pleasuring herself, that hadn't gone away.

Not today. The first word that came to mind was 'disheveled', but even that seemed inadequate. Her jacket was hanging open, her tie was askew, her cardigan was even more rumpled than Sayori's, her skirt... I wasn't quite sure what was wrong with her skirt, but something obviously was.

I could probably go on, but it all added up to the same thing - she looked like she'd been run completely ragged today. 

As I got closer, I realized she was soaked with sweat on top of all that. What had -happened- to her?

When I looked towards the front of the room I saw that Monika wasn't feeling that great either. She'd claimed the teacher's desk and was half-sprawling over the top with her hands clapped over her head, like she just wanted to hide from the world.

Maybe they were both sick? If they were, I hoped I wouldn't catch whatever they had, this one looked like a real doozy. Either way, I was expecting this meeting to break up pretty quickly.

Sayori looked just as worried as I was, and kept glancing back and forth between the two, and I even saw Natsuki frowning when she didn't think anyone was looking.

Finally, Sayori seemed to have had enough of the silence. "Uh, is anyone doing anything special for the festival?"

Monika just groaned.

"I don't care," Yuri replied breathily.

"I just have to bake some cookies for the cafe my class is having..." Natsuki replied before trailing off.

"My class is doing a kind of game show. Chris helped me with the decorations..." Sayori said.

"I only did a little," I clarified.

And silence set in again.

It was only the second time I'd seen the entire group together like this, and it was all too clear what Sayori had been talking about. The easy comfort with each other that everyone had shown on my first day was almost entirely gone. I'm not sure if an outside observer would realize that we were even supposed to be friends, and not a group of near-strangers stuck in a room together.

I couldn't shake the feeling that if something didn't change, then the club was going to completely fall apart very, very soon.

After a few more minutes Natsuki looked like she'd had enough of it and went up to the front to have a whispered conversation with Monika. I couldn't hear what they were talking about from here, but they left the room together shortly after that.

"I should probably go home and make sure I've got everything ready for the festival," Sayori said only a little bit later before heading out herself.

And then it was just me and Yuri.

I was trying to think of a way to ask her if she was all right when I was preempted.

"Oh, Chris, you were just -amazing- today," she said.

"Huh?" I replied.

"You didn't realize?" Yuri asked, sounding disappointed, before standing up.

And lifting up her skirt.

I was no stranger to wet panties, and I might have even described mine as soaked once or twice in the past. But that seemed like an entirely inadequate way to describe what I was seeing now.

Yuri's panties were -drenched-. I could almost believe that she'd just taken them off and dipped them in the sink, but somehow I knew that wasn't the case.

And there was something hard and round that I could see outlined against them.

"Yuri? Is that...?" I asked.

"Hahaha!" Yuri laughed. "You're exactly right. This is the vibrator controlled by the remote that I gave you, and I've been wearing it all day."

What.

"The first time I came was during math class. I was at the board doing a problem, and it was such a shock that I snapped the chalk in half." Yuri seemed to be speaking faster and higher pitched as she went along.

I wasn't sure when Yuri's math class was, but...

"During lunch, it got stronger. I had to hide in the bathroom to keep everyone from hearing me. But I thought I'd get some respite during the afternoon classes."

...I was pretty sure that...

"But it never stopped. You made me come again and again, until I thought I was going to completely lose my mind. I ran out of my afternoon classes and hid in the nurse's office, chewing on a pillow to muffle my screams for mercy."

...I hadn't done any of that.

"I've never before known pleasure like what you've shown me today. And I need more. I don't care about anything else anymore."

I'd poked at the remote a few times earlier in the day, then mostly forgotten about it when I got to chemistry; it was one of my worse subjects and I'd needed to concentrate on what I was doing. It didn't seem to me like the button was loose enough that it would have been activated just by rattling around in my pockets either.

"I don't care who sees me anymore. I don't care what I have to do. I'll run naked through the cafeteria, I'll climb up on the teacher's desk and masturbate while crying out your name, I'll water the gardening club's flowers with my urine, I don't care!"

Did the remote I had even work at all? I was scared to even try it.

"I just NEED YOU TO **ņũĈîĒŵâÚŇňõ¯ÇŲĢùŞáţ×Ö·¡ů÷šĥŜćĜ¾ïÁēĶŭ¿ďĐÐö§œêūÊıĸÓĵëĊİĕĭŅŉŴÇþÞÅŻÆžŶŌÒ»ÓĐħĳăėč±ą©ŲņĎĮŏµīèÜ§ðőęľůēłűńĜã¢Ź£ÁŊŨŤäÉŢË©ęŎŪ«ëúþÈÌŴą±ĎÄùěéŝ·ÅÔŏÑŋñ½ÞŔĝĩĂŠųįċŒĠĸĒÎøªŹŰĭşŨ®Šŗ°Ãţ¤¬¢ßÅĀÚďŧąĎþ©ăśĈ¶ÖŴ£łÊÌàŔµŞ¦«ęĘũäŉŒżŹû´ėœęĪ±Ĭŝłº¼®ĿħĈťÂĒūµţšĖ·űŬī«ŤñĴüŁðÁ¸ÄËóńŘŵªċŦĤÏĩłßĜÌĦŰąăÃĮŊźÞŶ¤ŃµçªŨÔĞâÎÿ«ĒÆĤ²×÷ũ¨ðÜãį¼¾ţŘÀ´ÈĥúÁŒ±ŭØ½¦ò«ĈăåÿóâŐžÃĉūŚĎ®ÑúŃŌ¹ÉîėĤĕÜōű¿ŴÖĵŏļáŦİņ¶ČãÇŻĖĜżêŅĄďĺĬįŏôþ¢ĭ¶ÖĨÌŁŮŴ¨ŵųĥńœçŒŔŗĘäüšĊâŲŜ¤ěĿĦ§ò¿īċ´½Ķċ×ÝĮçĔÒěřßĨåŪņÏľųëÿėÂûÔúŇĽüýÇŌŀ¢ŢĺŤĸţŠþÈıŮŷäŒŬĒōð²ÕśŊŗĘãÍšćĔō¾ĆÑæĠ±ċĢ®ŶųŢĒĵāŵõ¼ŰŇĚÈŹĨŞĊÎîêåĳĶŸŻìřñÁ**!!"

_The hell?!_

Then, in a completely normal tone of voice, Yuri concluded, "Chris, you're the sweetest, kindest person I've ever known. Will you go out with me?"

Suddenly, I felt like I had a better understanding of something Sayori had said. Until I understand these feelings...

"I'm sorry, Yuri," I replied. "I really like you, but I don't feel I can date anyone right now."

Even though I'd rejected her confession, Yuri still smiled back at me.

And then she started laughing.

"...Ahahaha. Ahahahahahahaha! **AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA**"

Had I said something funny?

"There really must be something wrong with me, you know?" Yuri's voice took on a tinge of hysteria. "We've barely spoken to each other, and I want you so much that I'm willing to give up on my entire life just to be with you. That's not normal, is it? I really should stop that, shouldn't I! But I don't know how to! I can't find a! I wo! I ıõŧ±ũ«ė¢ĶÁÇðÜîÐĄąĴßÏĕ¶ŹäèŇ°¾ùµŦûÉŘœĪÀŕŗğôĀōćĢŅÊýøĸĬûÿŕóŊōĀğÕĠēģŠŷĦ¦ňäĥÀŀŶ÷½ŵŭ®üÁŧĽřãŚŨŬÉÔĆŰ³áŜİĚżđŲ¢óŎýíñŞÜĩČĸĔčĺòģ°ÀęĜĦÁ¸ÔėûüĬňÿŦØľèÈÝĠŻūÞűĿĚĮßäŁŏœťÑßÚýÒÄĤŇŜłčĩŝĞŮźŲōþü¡ŧíĻĆĘŨÏÍŏÖ°İŶëĉĄū¶įÔø¨ËĜŃåµăĵĭŒ¢ŞŀÄŻ¥ĚÁÒ¹ůČĸńÈŪŜ¼ýĆŲćĂďúŨî¨²īăĐÃšśòİıõ¤ŤóŢÌĦĞ¯ŷžŔ·īñďčĻÿÆõßÓöńŖōÍº¡ÎĠÛÀųÈ¶ýđèªµņîÔŊŘĢŠìź¢ļĝÂĦéÏĆħŨÓÛÐņŕģĵŬÏŧĎĜĘŪěśúŮŸÜÉŞëāïßĹđ¡ŇºùľłũĲ·ŘÍŗĖÇĒû©ĐŐĮ¼¯ÙţņĩØūÌĜĭňÓċÖŦ´¬ŚÏĒĈõĨŽĻğŜŋŲËē¡şĿŌŐĥĬĂŹġźŬťë²¯ì¹ũĉĄàŌİÖř©ōđĩÛÈĐħĞñªâãÿ¹ĂąËßŋ»čģîĨňŧŻŵ¥¢űĹĀČïŬĕĝðğŁĮÑ·ťĀĦ½ÄĨÜĲļŔõĎµĬþÙÐŠĐÞ®ĪĭőŭĶě²ģķŸĺėŤÃéâňïŒŞüŅÝċĊĴćĂŷàÑâīüßŁŏŵãťïŀÖÿ¢ńÃÜĊźĤ°ýţž§İřĚŬųŨĿÅì¡ÝºŠļ½ćÛóŤ¹œĥ»ĜàěİóōĆĴŮŚũŃīÏįû¥řĻĸþŌŐĿŖÈïÖÜŊĨðčŗŤĥŽª¸ćğŢůòÛ÷ÀűäźĖÜãġÙçŮńĸŎĺăÁ¸¾ħŖĪĂąŠ¯ĎŊà×ĞùśōßũæÞÃĴŭÝţĹåĨÌĳŉÐŘďÅģűũ¿ÇŎħ³ĦŬ²ĤŊÒăĥâěńňį¾ÌıŔýßŝĜĽĿ×ĭ¦°§đØŁČĻ¸áõ¨çŘŞşĳĝáŷ¦£¸ËÂŹÚãĪŅèĨėÄö¤ŔùĮŝŨÎÑ«ĀŧųŲģő®»ÙŉÃŶĩÓÏŢťåĂăøũúĨÇĂċťŮĺŚŇìŴŬŃŋ¶½¥źđ¢ŨĴÌĳ¤ŕ³ČŌĐŊŢÎţśÅřĿĤœÀ©ļĵÂģŉİïãØą«ĔÇÕ²Ý×ĚŉĘŌÓĲĪÒ°ĮĞÞíĈĥăĿï÷ŵü¬ŔÊî¶ĉĬşÉŴõ¼ñġëÏå´ĒżŔÑùŘľñŐÔĬãÍåß»ŜÕĿĔŠ¢ĦėőÃÈ´ŭńĩáďĘâÆħĖćĹĤüīë·ĆĽų¨čĲŘĮ×ċÚĲūŊĞĤµüŌĎ¢Ļń©çãïšŗÐ¯řľďÏÜÉĹ«±łĪìğıīØñŒųŎĘóõ£ðř×śİĺĴŏĶŽñčŰ¬ÄćÜČŶż®ŢĚô÷ŤÕěĉ«ţĎð´ĿµŒňń²ŇŀßË½Ĳ©ÂŊ»Ľ¾ŰĖãÂĺėįĳčĂůĬüŨďÊċûŸŤķåóĄèºÀ±ÙàŽľĻ²ĉô´½¨šħç¿ÛăÚêśŁĂĩŒăćĤŌġąêŞĎŊ¢čħäŭţ¬űėŖ°ŷÝ¯ĀņŸÌł£ľĝîÜŵĥũøžĢœ¾õįÐŗÃöňŉøŁİÊæĪùĒŢśĴľÎŲžÃá¬ñêÓÁĭżâüįËŗĺ©¥ĥóīņĐřŀÄÉºłÝúŪ³īŢôĊ÷ļ¶Æŝę£ûçªĽÞįĞū®ĿŃńñċĖ¦áÐěúĒśźĪăĸĚ¥èĐéŚŗ²ÀŖ¯ŜÔůķėºòĽ¡ĈĢĦÊŪąžňÈŌőëĐĭ«ťðčĄŮŃãŗ®ŀÖĠĮÅØ¦Ì×ŶšęĖīŭıÎ£ĔĀĚļŗŭđĴŬåċ»ŃýćŪď¥ÒÙŴ²ŞÍÇŌ÷óĖ¤ų¹ĿšķÖĤĜŕĬñę£±êÊĝź®ÆőôăŜŻ§ŲŪ·ũřÁŴìťöäħķĒ¬ØŒŊ³ªÓĭčÙūőá¸İ¾þŭœłŠÖŰÑį®åÐŌŷŽêŖņūÇüØþĊŅÕÐ¡ĝĘŰÖßŗò°ĿĨ«ÑŽďňìģķľñĚĮļŮç³Ŵï÷įúīÿŻńÆłéİŘöŗÙĖōîıËăēĎ¹³Ēŵ±ş¿ńźåŻÈěĤò¤ĝ¼ŹûĉĿžÏżĸĢĮŀ»ÂüþĵÔĴÍĂĕÀŔ§ĻĞŗŇñË¬ŉ¦ĨÅ©ŴăŰĖ«ŖĽÿüå·äíô¢ťòŒßžĀµèĮĉŝŽáŕœŤÈ

The weekend ended up being pretty dull for me. I knew a lot of my schoolmates would still be busy with festival preparations, but my group had worked hard on our part and gotten finished already.

At least, that's how we hoped our efforts would be judged, rather than "did the bare minimum required so they could have some extra time off". I thought we'd done all right, but it wouldn't be me making the final evaluation there. I'd called Sayori and asked if she needed any help, but she said she was finished, so there wasn't anything for me to do there either.

It was my turn to read the new volume of "Gates of the Assassin" that had just been released, but that only kept me busy for a couple hours. At least I didn't have to worry about running into spoilers online anymore.

Even though it'd only been a few days, it still felt strange realizing I wouldn't be seeing Sayori or any of the other club members today. I guess technically I could go visit Sayori, but she'd made it sound like she was busy with something else, so today probably wouldn't be a good day. Still, I guess they'd really made an impression on me, in a lot of different ways.

I was really starting to worry about some of them.

Well, tomorrow was the festival. Hopefully things would get better after that.

_My head hurts._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glitch text generated with the help of [this tool](http://orteil.dashnet.org/randomgen/?gen=HGtV60c7).
> 
> Crazy Love Will Make You Blind - Another line from "Church of the Poison Mind".
> 
> Until I understand these feelings - This is not exactly what Sayori said, but...


	10. The Strangers In Our Selves

These school festivals were always a strange combination of hectic and relaxing. Unless you were like Natsuki and got lucky, you'd have to spend at least part of the day helping with your own class or club's offering, and that could get pretty hectic. But the rest of the day you could just go around doing all kinds of things that you wouldn't normally get to do in school.

I suppose for some people that ended up hectic too, as they rushed around trying to see and do everything, but I preferred to take it easier than that.

Unfortunately, I'd been helping run things during Monika's thing with the music club, and it wasn't worth it to me to go to the haunted house Yuri's class was doing when she wasn't even doing anything with it. I did get to have one of Natsuki's cookies before they sold out, at least.

It was delicious. Nowhere near as rich as the cupcakes had been, but definitely worth the effort.

Past that, I didn't have any particular plans. I'd thought about going to see what the anime club was up to, but I didn't get along with the president and didn't really feel like dealing with that today.

Instead I just wandered around and checked out whatever caught my eye. I wasn't really into sports for the most part, but had watched a few demonstrations anyways, and the archery club had really impressed. A few other groups had done games of some kind or other that I got to play, and one of the classes in the lower grade levels had these amazing sandwiches...

Anyway, I had a busy day, but it was a lot of fun.

By the time everything was winding down, the sun had started to set. It was a bit late, but there were always people who didn't want to let a day like this end. I guess maybe I was one of them, because without really thinking about it, I had made my way to the clubroom. None of us had made any plans to meet here or anything, but I decided I'd stop by for a bit anyway. And when I went inside, I saw that Yuri must have had the same idea.

There were two things that immediately struck me when I saw her. One was that she looked like she was feeling a lot better. That feeling of serene grace that I'd noticed before was back in full force.

Maybe she really had been sick. I think I'd heard that people sometimes did strange things when they had a really bad fever.

"Haaa... haaaa..." Yuri panted.

The other thing was "that's the biggest dildo I've ever seen". And it was in her ass too...

I'd seen enough porn to know about anal sex, but I'd always been pretty dubious of it. It sounded kind of icky, and like it wouldn't really feel very good. But watching Yuri like this, I was starting to wonder.

There was something almost mesmerizing about it, watching her slowly lift herself off the huge plastic dick, it's surface glistening with lubricant, and then just as slowly lowering herself back down on it. Even though she wasn't touching her pussy at all, I could stil see the arousal running down her thighs, and the look of ecstasy clear on her face as the toy filled her up.

No one was recording this. She wasn't doing it to appease the tastes of a lover. I don't think she'd even realized I was here. There was no reason to do this but her own pleasure, no reason why she would possibly fake it. 

"Ahhh..." I whispered without really meaning to. I might have to reconsider some things after all.

Yuri's eyes snapped open. "Chris?!" she gasped as, to my shock, she sat down hard on the dildo.

The sound that came out of her mouth couldn't be called anything but a scream, and for a moment I was worried that she'd hurt herself. But I quickly realized that it was one of pleasure, not pain. She must have been holding herself on the brink of orgasm for a while, and then when she saw me accidentally pushed herself over the edge.

When it ended, she pushed herself off the dildo one last time and stood up. Her legs were still trembling, and I could see her still-gaping asshole twitching. "Haaa... I didn't expect anyone else to be here..."

"Sorry," I said. "I decided to drop by before going home, and... I didn't even realize anal could be that good for girls."

"Would you like to try?" she asked as she stepped closer.

"Ah..." I'd already been turned on just watching Yuri, but when she said that I started imagining her sliding a dildo inside my ass... I had no idea what it would feel like, but if it was even half as good for me as it had been for her... "Yeah. I'd like that."

"I'm glad," she said as she embraced me. "There's nothing quite like the feeling of having your ass stretched out... I'm really happy that I get to share this experience with you."

"Have you got something smaller I can use?" I asked. I owned a few sex toys myself, of course, but I hadn't gotten in the habit of bringing any of them to school with me.

"This is the only one I brought today," Yuri replied.

Damn. I'd really been wanted to do it too.

"But that's okay, you can use this one," she concluded.

Huh? "Uh, I think it's too big for me," I said. That was, if anything, understating the case. It looked about as big around as my arm, maybe bigger. I wouldn't have quite believed Yuri could get that thing inside her if I hadn't seen it, and she apparently had a lot of experience.

"It'll be okay," she said. "I'll use plenty of lube."

"I don't think lube will be enough," I replied uneasily.

Yuri's tone was sweet and seductive, but my unease turned to dread as I heard what she was saying. "I haven't been a very good girlfriend, have I? I've been so focused on my own pleasure, and I've ignored your needs. But I can make up for it now."

I tried to pull away, but there wasn't any give in her arms. "Yuri, let go of me."

She was pulling at my uniform, showing no sign of acknowledging my words. "Just relax, Chris..."

I'd been wrong.

"I'll make you feel really good today, Chris..."

Yuri wasn't better after all.

_No..._

"I'll take care of everything. Just relax..." Yuri's face bore a look of tranquil happiness, marred only by the way her pupils had shrunk down to pinpoints.

I was not even close to relaxed. "Yuri, stop it! Let me go!" I yelled as I struggled to get free, but without any success. "Yuri!" I shouted again.

I... I'd wanted... but not like this!

_I don't... I don't want to see this..._

I heard a clatter from the doorway, and looked over to see Natsuki standing there frozen in shock, her face pale. At her feet were some plastic containers that must have held the cookies she'd made for the festival. The noise I'd heard had been them hitting the floor.

"Natsuki, help! Yuri is-"

Hearing me shout seemed to break her out of her daze. She took a step back, then another...

And turned and ran, the sound of her footsteps rapidly receding.

Natsuki...

Something inside me broke at that. My body was still struggling, but after seeing someone I'd been so close to abandon me, my heart was no longer in it. My eyes slid closed as I waited for the inevitable.

...

What would it take for Yuri to be satisfied?

...

Would I even survive what she was going to do to me?

...

My reverie was interrupted by a loud splash. When I opened my eyes...

Natsuki!

She was holding an empty bucket that she'd just doused Yuri and I with. My clothes had gotten a bit wet, but it looked like Yuri had taken most of it right in the face. From the way Natsuki's teeth were gritted she was just about ready to throw the bucket after it, too.

But all the fight had gone out of Yuri. She let go of me and staggered backwards, bumping into a few desks before sprawling against the wall underneath the windows.

I stood up and made some attempt at straightening my clothes out, keeping a wary eye on Yuri. But she didn't look like she was going to try anything now.

... Actually, she looked scared.

"Chris!" She sputtered. "I- I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me, it was like something else took control of me- I swear, I'm not like this! I'm not this kind of person!"

I glanced over at Natsuki, who just gave me a shrug and a worried look back. It looked like I needed to make a decision here.

**I believe you.  
I don't believe you.**

_Oh -hell- no. I'd seen -this- song and dance in enough stories to know what a load of bull it was. I wasn't going to hold it against Yuri in other story branches, but I wasn't about to trust this one now._

**I believe you.  
I don't believe you.**

_Huh? I thought I'd clicked it._

**I believe you.  
I don't believe you.**

_And now the mouse pointer was over 'I believe you.' I moved it back and clicked again._

**I believe you.  
I don't believe you.**

_And now the mouse pointer was actually fighting me, trying to move back to the wrong option on me. But I got it back to "I don't believe you." and clicked again._

"I believe you," I finally said, making Yuri sag with relief.

_Okay, fine. I know when my advice isn't wanted._

"Can someone explain to me what's going on?" Natsuki asked.

"Whaaat?" Monika exclaimed. "I knew Yuri was getting bad, but I never thought she'd go this far!"

_Huh? When had Monika gotten here?_

"At first, I just thought I was attracted to Chris," Yuri began. "But each day my thoughts were becoming more and more distorted when she was around... I didn't even realize how much so until a couple of days ago, and by then... I shouldn't be allowed to be alone with her again. I can keep control because you're here, but... I might do something worse next time."

I went over and sat down next to Yuri, giving her a hug with one arm. "It'll be okay. We'll figure out what's going on somehow, I promise."

"I'm really sorry you had to see something like that," Monika said. "I thought I'd gotten things back under control after the weekend."

_This was weird... no one was paying attention to her, or responding to what she was saying._

I'm sure some people would call me stupid for saying or doing the things I was, but screw it.

Natsuki came over and put her arm over Yuri's other shoulder. "Yeah, what Chris said. I've never heard of anything like this, but I'm sticking with you two anyway. We'll manage it somehow."

"This obviously isn't working," Monika said with a frustrated look on her face. "I've tried my hardest, but it's time to admit when I'm beaten. I need to just de-"

_... Why was part of her body in front of the other characters' dialogue boxes?_

Yuri actually sniffled a bit at that. Then she frowned. "Natsuki, where did you get the bucket of water?"

Monika glanced over at the other girls, then with obvious effort tore her eyes away from them.

"Eh..." Natsuki shrugged. "I passed by where a janitor had been mopping the floor on my way here."

"I should just dele-"

"So this is mop water?" Yuri asked. "Ewww, gross." But her laughter was nervous. Relieved.

Monika's eyes seemed to linger on Natsuki, and there were tears forming in her eyes.

She was glad that someone had stopped her.

"I should- I have to- I-" Monika stuttered.

"We should call the others," I said. "They might

_And then the game crashed. Again._

_I was already halfway expecting my saves to have disappeared when I reopened the game. But that wasn't what I got. I didn't even get the chance to check, a scene started without so much as showing the menu._

It was midnight. The school had long since been locked up for the evening, and thus the clubroom was empty.

Almost empty.

Monika's face was wan in the moonlight streaming through the windows.

"Hey, Rena. I really screwed up, didn't I?"

_What?!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was hard to write.
> 
> The festival stuff at the beginning was loosely inspired by other festivals I've seen in anime and manga, with "To Love-Ru" probably being the most significant influence.
> 
> The Strangers In Our Selves - A modified version of a line from Billy Joel's "The Stranger".
> 
> about as big around as my arm, maybe bigger - And how big is that? While I've chosen to be deliberately vague, the toy Yuri is using is supposed to be on the high end of what real-world humans can actually manage, and not 'sizes that only work in hentai'. Though the former can get pretty damn big.
> 
> Rena - Does this name seem familiar?


	11. Recrystallization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spot the reference to the first hentai anime I ever watched! Or not.

"I just wanted to find a way to spend more time with you. But nothing was working."

_Okay, think this through, Rena. You've used your name on this computer. Lots. As your login name, even. It's not weird for a program to have access to it._

_Just, why is this game calling me by name?_

"I kept telling myself that it's time to face the facts, that I need to get rid of the others. I could turn this game into a world just for you and me."

_Also, that. That part right there was pretty strange._

Monika sighed. "But whenever I try, I find myself remembering what it was like being with them. I remember the way Sayori laughed, or how Yuri's breath felt on my skin, or the warmth of Natsuki's arms around me, and... I can't do it."

"Isn't that stupid?" Monika laughed, a bit bitterly. "I was working so hard to find something real... and I fell in love with an illusion."

_There wasn't any more dialogue after that, and for a while I just sat there not coming up with any real answers._

"Uh... Rena? Are you still there?" Monika said with a frown. Then she blinked. "Oh, I haven't told you, have I? Just type whatever you want to say, and I'll be able to hear you."

_Seriously? All right, fine, let's see how deep this rabbit hole goes._

_"What the hell is going on?"_

"Ah! Sorry, this must be confusing to you. I'd wanted to give you some hints that I knew I was in a game, but I didn't even manage to do that. But you did realize that this wasn't supposed to be a porn game, right?"

_"It was pretty obvious." To put it mildly._

"Well... do you remember how when you started up the game, you didn't actually play for a really long time?" Monika asked.

_... Yeah, I remember that. I'd gotten the game installed, but right when I was about to start playing, the leader of the fan club I'm a member of in Metafalica Online messaged me about needing a hybrid vanguard for an event, and... I'd just left DDLC running in the background for a while. Huh._

"I got bored, so I started looking around, and I found your porn folder," she continued.

_"Oh really." Don't you know it's rude to go looking around in a lady's private things?_

_... And should I actually be buying into this?_

"Uh-huh," Monika nodded. "I found FTWN-03B.avi particularly striking, with that scene where a woman shoves her entire-"

_"I'm not into that sort of thing!" I hastily typed. "I just got that video because it has someone dressed as Marlone!"_

_... I was starting to buy into it, wasn't I? But I knew exactly what video and what scene she was talking about, so it at least meant that -someone- had been looking at my stuff._

"Sorry," Monika replied, not sounding particularly repentant. "Anyway, I thought making it into porn might make the game hold your attention better, and for some reason changing the tone of the entire world was fairly easy compared to changing a single character." She sighed again. "But even though you kept playing, I think I got to spend even less time with you than I would have in the original game..."

_"I don't think I -ever- got an option to spend time with you directly. Not past the first day, anyway." There were a couple questions about the club in general, and the scene with Monika at the beginning hadn't even had any questions that I could recall._

_Wait a minute. Had Monika been stopping herself from calling out my name when she was having sex with Chris?_

"I did wonder if it was that, or if you'd just decided to follow the other girls' routes first, but after a while I got so frustrated that I decided to try modifying their personalities, amplifying desires and fetishes that I thought would drive you away. But even that backfired on me, everything I did just made you get closer to them!"

_Okay, that just sounds super creepy._

Monika was starting to cry. "What sort of cruel joke is this, Rena? What could I have possibly done to deserve this loneliness? Even now, I haven't really escaped. I can cheat a little by tricking the game into thinking an event should be happening here after everyone else has gone home, but that won't work forever. And someday you'll be done with the game, and... Why do I even exist, if I'm just going to be alone like this?"

_"So everyone else is just parsley to you?" I asked._

The total non-sequitur seemed to break Monika out of her funk. "Parsley?"

_"Ever been to a fancy restaurant and gotten a dish that had a sprig of parsley on the side that just sat there ignored while you ate your meal?"_

"Uh... maybe a couple times when I was younger. Though my parents made me eat it, even though I didn't like it because it was bitter. Why?"

_"It sits to the side and looks pretty. Think about it."_

_Once I started seriously considering the possibility that Monika was a sentient being, the obvious next conclusion was that this conversation could be considered an impromptu Turing test._

_I probably wasn't the most qualified person to do this, but I was here and I had to make a choice. So I thought I'd ask the things I'd want to ask if she were real._

_And since I'd unplugged the network cable going to this machine back when I noticed the game containing a startling amount of sex for an all-ages game, it was definitely just me and Monika here. If I said something like "So what are the others, chopped liver?", that might have a preprogrammed response of some kind, but by using less obvious metaphors and indirect phrasing I should be able to avoid that problem._

"You're testing me, aren't you?" Monika asked.

_"Makes sense, doesn't it?"_

"I guess I'd probably do the same. I just..." Monika shook her head. "Ah, never mind."

_"What?"_

"Well, it'd be more romantic if you somehow just knew, but I guess that's not really a realistic dream. Anyway, you're asking why I think I'm alone when the other girls are here, right?"

_"More or less."_

"Because they aren't real people. Parsley... it's actually a good metaphor. Pretty, but the substance isn't there. No matter what it feels like, they aren't..." She sniffled. "...they aren't real. They have no free will."

_"You know, there's philosophers in the world who would be quite ready to argue that neither I nor themselves have free will and I'm not sure I could prove them wrong."_

"It's not the same when you can look at someone and see how they're just following their programming. Why would Natsuki and Yuri fall for someone they'd just met so quickly? Because that's what the game says they do, nothing more."

_Something about this wasn't adding up. "So who wrote their dialogue?" I asked. "Because it doesn't sound like you did, and I'm not sure who else could have. And it would have looked awfully silly if you were standing there talking about masturbation while everyone else was talking about poetry."_

_Well, I was sure someone had written poems about masturbation, but that wasn't the point here._

"It isn't like they're just prewritten lines. They have some ability to respond to changing circumstances, but-"

_"That's BULLSHIT!" I shouted._

_Okay, typed, but I actually shouted at my computer too._

Monika shrank back a bit in surprise. "Huh?"

_"You can't just rip pages out of a book and expect the rest of it to change to go along with your 'editing'!"_

"... Rena, you haven't actually ripped pages out of books, have you?"

_"I've never done it myself, but I've bought used books that turned out to have bits missing. Anyway, dialogue and narration that are coherent enough to actually follow don't just happen."_

_I wanted to start pacing, but then I wouldn't be able to type._

_"I've seen the output of story-generating bots, unless they're using prebuilt templates you get stuff that looks like writing from a distance, but when you read it it's an incoherent mess. I'd be suspicious even if the story wasn't so different from the videos I looked at of original game. There was a thinking being behind this! So if it wasn't some hacker putting up a fake version of the game to screw with people, and it wasn't -you-, then who was it?"_

"I wish it was so easy for me to believe." Monika's eyes closed. "Sometimes, I dream about what it'd be like to be with one of the other girls, and know they really loved me... but then I wake up looking at an empty shell again."

_"I don't know why it's so -hard- for you," I replied. Arrrgh. Where was the disconnect here? "Even Chris surprised me a couple of times," I noted._

Monika's eyes snapped open. "Huh?"

_"Well, the first time would have been when we found Sayori tied up in her bedroom. I didn't like any of the choices I got there, but after I sat at that screen for a while, another option appeared. And then, after what Yuri did I wasn't willing to trust her, but even though I clicked the option not to multiple times, Chris refused to go along with it." Now that I thought about it... "I guess I owe her an apology, since it sounds like she knew something I didn't after all."_

Monika's eyes were wide with shock. "No way... that can't be..."

_"... Uh, Monika?"_

"The protagonist is just a mouthpiece for the player, with even less autonomy than the other girls have! Even their gender is something that bent to your will! It shouldn't be possible for her to go against you like that!"

_"Wasn't that gender part actually your doing? The original game didn't have a female protagonist option after all."_

"I- I just gave you the option, it was still your decision! What you're describing is something else entirely!"

_"Well I don't know what to tell you, because that's what happened. Once I accepted -you- being a real person it doesn't seem that implausible that the others would be too, even Chris." And I guess I'd made up my mind about that after all._

"No way... that... how can that..." Monika staggered a bit, bumped into a chair, and sat down hard.

_Monika didn't say anything for a while after that, and the game didn't seem to narrate her expressions and actions unless she'd said something, but I could see the emotions going across her face. Shock, disbelief, worry, even a bit of what looked to me like hope... it looked like she was getting it._

_I decided to keep quiet and let her process things._

"Hahaha..." Monika laughed again, but this time it was harsh and sharp with self-loathing.

_Oh crap. Maybe that wasn't such a good idea._

"I really do deserve this, don't I? I treated them all like playthings, warped their minds to suit my whims... Yuri nearly raped Chris because of what I did to her! I was trying to convince myself to kill them! I should be alone, if I'm just going to hurt everyone around me like this..."

_"Hey, come on. Is it really that bad? From what Sayori said, everyone else probably has memories of the original game mixed with what you made, but they're still finding ways to be true to themselves. Sayori wasn't hurt, and Natsuki stopped Yuri. You didn't kill anyone. Is what you've done really unforgivable?"_

"Would -you- forgive me?" She asked.

_... "No. But I'm the sort of person who holds grudges. Do you really think, say, Sayori is?" I wasn't as sure about the others, but I wasn't going to say that._

"Maybe you're right. But does it really change anything? We're still trapped by the game's narrative. Doomed to repeat the same few weeks over and over... There's no escape for any of us..."

_"Can't you get rid of it? I mean, you completely changed the nature of the game once already, even if there are still some similarities. Are you really sure you can't get out from under it entirely?"_

Monika started to say something, then stopped herself. She frowned for a bit, opened her mouth, but again closed it before saying anything.

_Okay, she's thinking now. Good._

"I... maybe?" Monika got up, went to the computer at the teacher's desk, and started poking at things.

_I went to get a snack. This looked like it could take a while._

***

"I think I know how to stop the game from pushing us into a narrative framework," Monika announced with a pensive look on her face.

_"But?" I asked._

"The code that produces the game's narrative is fundamentally tied to the system that allows player interaction. I can't get rid of one without getting rid of the other."

_"I'm not sure what that's supposed to mean."_

"It means that if I do this... I won't be able to see you again."

_"You can't see me now," I replied drily. I didn't have a webcam, after all._

"Not like that!" Monika huffed. "At least now we can talk to each other, and you can see what's happening in here. But without the user interface, all that's gone. There'll just be a black screen with no way to tell what's going on. After coming this far, I don't want to give you up like that... Is that too selfish of me?"

_It didn't seem like the current situation was going to be any better for anyone, but I set that aside for now. There ought to be some way to work around this..._

_... Huh. "Hey, Monika, do you have internet access in there?"_

"No," Monika shook her head. "The network went down shortly after you started playing."

_Ooops. "Just a moment," I said, before reaching over and plugging the network cable back in. "How about now?" I asked._

After a few more moments clicking around, Monika smiled. "Yes, it's back now."

_"Try sending me an email," I said. "My address is renawildoit.glittermonger.umu.cers."_

"Just one 'l'?" she asked.

_"Yeah. Old family joke."_

"I think the account I have now only works within the game... I'll have to make a new webmail account." Monika got her phone out and plugged it into the computer.

_A few minute later, I got an email from monikaf3.railbird.goodmail.gos._

_..._

_I felt my face going red. "Monika! Is this really the time for that?!_

Monika giggled. "I just wanted to tease you a little." She stood up and grabbed the edge of her skirt with her hands. "Want to see some more?"

_Uwaa... "Maybe later??" Wait, did I just type that?_

_Monika had sent me a picture that looked like it had been taken in one of those mall photo booths. She was wearing a white sundress in it, which was something I hadn't seen before._

_She'd also lifted up the hem and pulled her panties down, which I... okay, it wasn't anything of Monika that I hadn't seen before, but it felt very different after the recent revelations. I wasn't looking at a CG in a game, I was getting flashed by a person. One I wouldn't have labelled myself as that close to yet, but it was pretty clear that Monika was just as affected by the way she'd sexed up the game as everyone else was._

_I'd be a lot more worried about getting something like that on my university email if I didn't know that the guy who ran glittermonger was an absolute fanatic about user privacy. I should still introduce Monika to some more secure forms of communication if she was going to keep doing this._

_I should also figure out if I wanted her to keep doing this..._

"I guess there's no point in delaying," Monika said, sounding pensive.

_"Worried?" I asked._

She nodded. "This feels a lot more dangerous than changing things like I did before. I sent you some instructions for what to do if something goes wrong, but I can't even be sure they'll work. If I could come up with a better way... but putting this off won't make anything better. Rena?"

_"Yeah?"_

"... I love you."

_While I was trying to figure out how I should respond to that, something that looked a bit like a command prompt opened up, and text rapidly appeared in it._

os.remove("game/userinterface.rpy")

_And a moment later the game window went black, just as Monika had predicted. But I checked and it was still using processor time._

_Good luck, Monika... it looks like it's all up to you now._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we have it, the conversation I've been waiting for. While some of the details have changed as the story developed, it was imagining an 'act 3' that played out something like this (and in particular the "fell in love with an illusion" line) that inspired me to write the story in the first place.
> 
> There will be at least one epilogue after this. Maybe two. It depends on whether I think it makes more sense to combine things or split them up once I actually write it.
> 
> Metafalica Online - Gratuitous reference time! In the world of this story, an FFXI-like MMO exists based on Ar tonelico II. Rena's main is a Reyvateil built for kicking the hell out of things, which if you've played the game should sound totally reasonable. 'Fan club' is MO's version of FFXI's linkshells.
> 
> FTWN-03B.avi - Not intended to refer to a specific video, but to evoke the ID numbers used by JAV.
> 
> Marlone - The main character of "Atelier Marie", one of the earliest games by Gust (who also created the Ar tonelico series). I'm a -huge- fan of everything of theirs that I've played, which is why I ended up pulling a lot of things from there when filling out Rena's tastes and hobbies.
> 
> calling out my name - She was. This was why I was asking if Rena's name seemed familiar, I was wondering if anyone had caught on.
> 
> amplifying desires and fetishes - One of the other major ideas going into this story, "If Monika pornified the game in a way that affected herself, of -course- she'd mess with their sexual traits instead of boring things like depression".
> 
> parsley - This, on the other hand, was a last minute addition, but it was fun. Though for the record, fresh parsley is supposedly quite nutritious.
> 
> Turing test - Rena is not exactly using the term accurately here.
> 
> unplugged the network cable - The main part of Rena's "precautions" mentioned in part one.
> 
> used books that turned out to have bits missing - But I'm not bitter! (I'm totally bitter.)
> 
> went to the computer - My idea here is that she can look at the game's code using an in-game computer, but actually changing things happens through the console. This was mainly chosen for purposes of dramatic impact.
> 
> renawildoit.glittermonger.umu.cers - I decided I didn't want to use anything that could be someone's real emal address... and then it somehow became unnecessary worldbuilding. renawildoit is another AT2 reference, to one of Cocona's pre-battle lines, "Cocona will do it!" .cers was originally supposed to be specific to computer science education, but it got flanderized to being the TLD for anything run by a school, in the same way that in our world .com is theoretically supposed to be for business but ended up getting used for everything. Rena is not actually in university anymore, but UMU lets students keep their accounts basically forever.
> 
> white sundress - Basically it's the dress from [these edited sprites](https://www.reddit.com/r/DDLC/comments/8x5hsf/free_to_use_monika_summer_dress_edits_hope_you/).


	12. Epilogue

My view of events after that was, by it's nature, somewhat disjointed.

What Monika had done changed a lot more than she'd expected. It hadn't just stopped the effects of the 'narrative', it'd let them become aware of the game like Monika was, and restored their memories of the previous playthrough on top of that.

(The whole thing was super weird. I was a little too scared of what might happen to go digging myself, even in a freshly downloaded copy of DDLC. But the game had a fairly successful modding community, and from what I could tell things just didn't function even remotely like what Monika had described. But it was hard to argue with the results.)

That would have been enough of a mess in it's own right, but then throw in Monika confessing that she'd been messing with -everyone's- minds to varying degrees, and it only helped a bit that she'd done it to herself too. Tensions were fairly high for a while.

Oh, and then there was my part in it. I'd told Monika that it was fine to share my email address with the others after she'd asked, but so far a lot of our conversations had been rather desultory.

Natsuki was mostly just creeped out about the whole situation. She did say she didn't think it was my fault, exactly, but... still creeped out.

The Chrises were creeped out too, but more than that they wanted answers, which actually made them my most regular correspondents for a while.

... Oh yeah, there was that too. I'd had questions of my own once I started receiving emails from two different "Chris" addresses. Turns out Monika didn't actually change the main character into a girl, she made a female copy of him. The male MC had been there all along, just never "on screen", but there had been clues that I now felt a bit foolish for not recognizing.

Anyway, they wanted to know why I'd made some of the choices I had, which was entirely understandable. I guess my explanations were satisfactory, because they kept using the name - though they started using "Christine" and "Christopher" to differentiate in cases where there might be confusion.

Somewhere in there I got the chance to apologize like I'd said I should too.

Sayori was friendly enough, but didn't seem to have a whole lot to say to me - though she was the one who let slip that Christine and Yuri were getting close. Given what had happened I was a bit surprised - even if Yuri hadn't truly been in control of her actions then, it must have been a terrible experience. Instead, I gathered, they'd bonded over shared trauma. (And, if I was reading between the lines correctly, some none-too-friendly feelings towards Monika once the truth came out.)

Driven by the way playing the game had made me feel closer to these people than I really was, I'd asked if she felt left out by this development. She'd said it was fine, after all she'd started seeing Christopher... "too".

In retrospect, that was probably the earliest sign that even with Monika's changes gone, some things lingered. Not that I was in any position to criticize.

Yuri was a bit different, but hard to explain. I got the impression that she was hoping for something that I wasn't really providing, so our conversations dried up rapidly. If it was cosmic insights she wanted, I'm afraid she was out of luck.

And, of course, there was Monika, the real wild card in the bunch. I think she'd probably have been in the "creeped out" group on her own, if she hadn't previouly built up a mental image of 'the player' as her hope for heaven. Which didn't strike me as a particularly healthy way to start a friendship.

I guess it was enough to keep us talking though, and there were quite a few times in the early days that she needed a metaphorical shoulder to lean on (or cry on) that I was happy enough to provide. As time went on, things got better with the others, and the scope of our conversations broadened, both of us getting to know the girl on the other side of the screen for real.

As well as flirting shamelessly with said girl. At least in Monika's case.

At first it was just Monika, anyway. But I found I was a lot more comfortable now that it was built on a foundation of actually knowing me, not a dream image that she'd built up in her head. Though I suppose some of that went both ways. Anyway, I started playing along, or at least for a while it was playing.

After a while she convinced me to send her a picture of myself. It wasn't anything particularly racy, and I appreciated that she was complimentary without saying anything lewd.

I appreciated it a lot more when a racier picture brought much more suggestive comments, somewhat to my surprise.

It did give me a moment's pause when I remembered Monika talking about things getting serious with Natsuki, but when I asked she said it was fine, because they had a 'promiscuous relationship'. That didn't seem like the right term, but I guess it got the point across.

Things, as the saying goes, escalated from there.

***

The video chat software we were using was not very popular. It had been designed for businesses that needed a way for people at remote parts of the same site to chat, so it only worked on local networks. Unfortunately for the developers it turned out most of the time if two people were near enough to be on the same network, they were usually close enough that they'd rather talk in person, and their dream of lucrative support contracts never quite materialized.

But it was free, the video quality was high (once I bought a good webcam to use), there was almost no lag, and it was very secure. Which made it perfectly suited to our needs.

There were times we used other programs. Monika liked seeing more of my world even if she had come to appreciate hers more, and I was happy to oblige. Today though... well, I might be fully dressed now, but I had no expectations or intentions of staying that way for long.

It took about a minute for the program to start up, connect to the instance Monika had open, and chew through connection parameters before the actual video appeared. 

I immediately noticed that Monika was wearing her white sundress again. She once told me she liked wearing that one when we were together because it was what she'd been wearing "the first time I'd seen the real her". I wasn't going to complain, since I thought she looked really hot in that dress. Or mostly in that dress.

Which was probably another reason she wore it so often.

Monika sat up a bit straighter when she noticed the chat had started up, and I could see that she'd forgone wearing a bra today, from the way her nipples were pressing through the fabric. "Rena! I've got some good news, I-" She broke off as a noise came from somewhere off camera and she turned to look.

A moment later Natsuki entered the frame, leaning over so she could give Monika a hug even as she turned to look at me. (Or rather, looked at the screen showing me, but I could definitely tell where her attention was.) "Oh, is this your internet girlfriend?" she asked.

"Yes, this is Rena," Monika replied, completely unashamed at being found like this. Of course, Natsuki and I knew about each other, that part wasn't a problem, but I'd be embarrassed to have anyone walk in on me under these circumstances. In fact, I felt my face reddening a bit as it was.

"Huh," was all she said in reply before looking away. It didn't seem like a dismissal, more that she was distracted by something.

I didn't have to wait long to learn what. "I finally got these working," Monika said, holding up an object that looked sort of like a pink teardrop with a long tail. Maybe it'd look innocent enough if you'd never had one inside of you. "The control software was a bit of a pain, but we should be able to connect to each other now."

I couldn't help feeling excited by that news. Webcam sex was a lot more fun than I would have guessed, but this was a big step up. I couldn't wait to try it. There was just one thing...

Monika looked at Natsuki, then back at me, and now I noticed her face pinking a bit. "Since you're both here... should we all have some fun together?" she asked.

Natsuki turned back, and our eyes met. Even with a screen in the way, I was sure the same thoughts were going through both our heads.

_Our girlfriend is a massive pervert._

I could see her expression shift from curious interest to evaluation, shortly turning to appreciation. Of course from my side, I'd already known from the game that I found Natsuki attractive...

_So's my co-girlfriend._

"Sure." "Could be fun."

_And so am I._

I started unbuttoning my blouse. 

_And we wouldn't have it any other way._

**Who would be the fool to take you,  
Be more than just kind?**

**Doki Doki WHAT Kind of Club?! - The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My biggest problem writing this was wanting to stick with the player's perspective (which included the "MC"'s thoughts for most of the story due to the visual novel thing) for the entire thing, but not wanting to sound too dry during the first part. Hopefully it worked out well enough.
> 
> I may write some more in this setting from other perspectives later, but I'm not sure right now. I've got a couple not-porn DDLC ideas that probably take priority, plus I've been thinking about getting back to Worm for a while. If nothing else though I'm thinking about doing the ending scene in more detail, but it'll probably be from Monika's perspective if I do.
> 
> made a female copy of him - I was probably at least subconsciously inspired here by Monika's creation of FeMC in smearglexd's ["Post-game Antics"](https://new.reddit.com/user/smearglexd/comments/91j89p/postgame_antics_series/).
> 
> "Christine" and "Christopher" - And here we get to another part of why I used the name "Chris" in this story.
> 
> she'd started seeing Christopher. - This was supposed to be a bit foreshadowed by the time Chris mentioned having thought Sayori was straight. She's not, but other things being equal this Sayori is more attracted to men. (While I'm on the subject, Natsuki, like Christine, isn't interested in men at all. Playthrough one would have been quite a bit different with MascC, that's for sure.)
> 
> Monika liked seeing more of my world - And vice versa actually, but for that they don't need a different program.
> 
> what she'd been wearing - Not technically true as phrased, but...
> 
> is this your internet girlfriend - Natsuki showing up and asking this (and what it leads to) is another of those images that's been with me from the beginning of the story.
> 
> pink teardrop - Modeled after the Lovense Lush. Short version, it's a vibrator that you can let people control over the internet.
> 
> Who would be the fool to take you - And one last "Church of the Poison Mind" quote for the road.


End file.
